seed swap

it was my dream come true. this was the best idea ever. nw rage organized a seed swap, which was possibly the best possible and most worthwhile thing i've probably ever gone to. it was at a cafe up in st. johns which is a bit of a hike, but i made it up there and brought some of my seeds. there were tons of other people there with seeds and i brought home a bunch of really neat stuff to try out in the garden this year. i was actually able to get a lot of stuff that was on my seed order list so now i can just order the few things i couldn't get this way.

it's such a great idea. you always have too much left over seed lying around. why not share that with a bunch of enthusiastic gardeners? if you have at least 5-10 people you've got enough to really diversify your possibilities. and who really needs a whole pack of seed in a city setting? kinda like a potluck, the more people that come, the more types of food you can try. aww yeah.

saturday's poem

staring across at the hawthorn bridge
i asked the universe for an answer
sitting under my bodhi tree
before the rains came
in silence deep enough
to hear my pen moving across paper
across the water
the endless drone
thousands of people flee to the north
i sit on the shore
as the river runs by
gray saturdays
spent walking nowhere

friday's lament

some days are more satisfying than others.
it's a good thing i've got more than one chance to get it right:
don't worry, there's no danger that i'll forget i'm poor and hungry,
i won't forget the roof over my head could cave in at any moment,
and i won't forget that the slightest mishap could fuck my world wide open.
no i won't forget any of it.
awareness is everything these days.

no i don't know what i'm going to do tomorrow.
except keep on keepin' on.
i really don't know how to do anything else.
and i don't dare lie down.
i may never get up again.

brrrr!

brrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!! it's been sooo cold the past couple of days. naturally it's one my days off...so it's all nice and sunny outside, and i could be doing so many nice things (if i wanted to be outside in 50 mph winds in 20 degree temps, that is...)

oh well it'll give me just the excuse i need to work on my final project in Ed 290...

so much for the reawakening of nature. almost everything that had been coaxed to life is now laying limp, flat and lifeless frozen to the ground. poor little sprouty bulbs and bloomy flowers....
since we don't have any heat beyond what the electric heater puts out, we have to wear coats indoors...and the plastic on the windows ruptured when the winds were howling so now they aren't doing so much to keep the heat out. it's a grim time around here. i've been drinking lots of tea to keep myself warm. i can't wait until things go back to normal...

high school confidential

today was a really amazing tutoring experience. everyone was on task and got an amazing ammount of work done during the session. from watching laura, i could see it was going the same way for her. maybe the fact that report cards came out a week before had something to do with it...whatever it was, i'm all about it. the kids are becoming a lot more open and less defensive now that we've been at it for awhile, and it's also been fun to watch them make friends over the school year and settle in. when we first started they were still in the new and awkward stage...and so were most of us, i suppose.

so i tried to talk an esl teacher into letting me do a class observations....i had almost convinced them to let me do it but at the last minute they changed their mind when i moved to "close the deal" as they say in sales training. i shouldn't take it personally...after all not everyone wants to be observed. but that means i am gonna have to hustle up another one, and soon.

sakeone

we got motivated to take advantage of the nice weather and make the trek over to sakeone, the purveyors of much of the sake that is widely available in the the US (the folks that brought us the ubiquitous blue bottles). turns out that they are just up the road a bit from portland in forest grove. (the nice thing about being in oregon is that a whole lot of really useful things are right here, hidden all over the state)

since nobody wanted to play designated driver on this outing, we took the bus. believe it or not you can do that. and we totally pulled it off, but you have to do some walking...but it's not more than 10 blocks from the bus stop to the brewery. to go from our neck of the woods to way out west took quite a long while so we brought a book to kill the time. even so it's a pretty ride once you get past hillsboro and it reminds me a great deal of my old commute from medford to ashland riding the bus through the countryside. at the end of the run we even found a collective house...how mysterious!

we should have gotten an earlier start because we missed the tour (alas!) but we did make it there in time to do the sake tasting. chocolate and sake went together better than i ever would have imagined. we got to try some things they don't carry in the store on a reliable basis, some new releases, and glory hallelujah they sell unpasturized sake! woo hoo! (that my friends is some nice stuff indeed)

afterwards we ambled up the road in the setting sun feeling like a million dollars and hit the chinese restaurant on the corner, and headed back to the city on the next bus.

foreigners-rant #786

People act so funny when they discover you're from a foreign country. Perfectly intelligent people start babbling like idiots when in the presence of the foreign-born. After hearing the usual array of totally ignorant/borderline offensive comments, i've decided it's high time to write a faq for how to talk to those mysterious people from far away lands without sounding like a complete idiot.

What NOT to say:
"that's an interesting accent...are you from (insert name of completely unrelated country here)?"
(If you don't know, just ask where they are from. It's better than being completely wrong. Keep in mind though, the person could be third generation from the exotic land of New Jersey--it happens all the time).

"I remember the time we were in (completely different country)."
Umm gee that's nice...but I probably couldn't care less. And who knows, maybe it's a country my country was at war with...

"Is it true that in your country (insert random stereotype here)?"
It's good to be inquisitive, but think about the purpose you are asking the question...after all how would you like it if I said "Is it true all Americans (bad stereotype goes here)". Asking if you drive on the right or left is fine. Asking if it's hot in the summer is great. But you may want to think twice about some other areas of inquiry.

"wow your english is sooo good. You've been here for a long time I bet."
(How well you can speak English is not always the best indicator of time in the US. Sometimes people know tons of English before moving to the US...others have never been exposed to it before arrival. Others may have been in the US for years and still not have the hang of it.)

"do you know my friend (so and so)?"
(Although it's possible in particularly small communities, if you are living in a city with a population over 400,000 you can probably assume they don't know that person, unless they are students in the same school...and maybe not even then).

"I bet you miss the food."
(It's a valid thing to say, but keep in mind if you are stuck in a strange foreign city whose most ethnic options include taco bell and a chinese takeout restaurant, that just tends to make you feel homesick).

I doubt anyone that needs to see this ever will...but I can always hope.

better than television

on the way home from work today i heard the funniest argument in the back of the bus--between a drag queen and a highschool girl.
it flared up fast and many choice insults were flung about concerning the need for makeovers, bad hair and out of style clothes.
the high school girl was going down in flames and flung her dignity aside and tried to enlist the aid of the bus driver. alas for her, he was completely disinterested in her wounded pride, and continued to call out bus stops in a classic monotone of boredom while completely ignoring her.

best entertainment i've had in weeks.

rant # 339 GM Foods

The WTO has come down on Europe for holding out against the purveyors of genetically modified foods and crops (ahem the US) with a landmark decision. The WTO ruled that the EU Moratorium against (GMOs) is a violation of trade rules, addressing France, Germany, Austria, Italy, Luxembourg and Greece (who all have bans on importing GMOs).
The ruling would send an unmistakable message to other countries who are considering regulating biotech crops...(Don't bother resisting)

Lost in the debate over legality, protocols and procedures is the bigger picture. They're kinda missing the point...Not everyone WANTS genetically modified foods. The real question, who in their right mind really wants this shit? (well other than the companies who stand to profit from their patents)?

Since when is having standards such a bad thing?
Just because you CAN do something doesn't mean you should...and I'm glad that at least someone out there isn't pandering to the interests of Monsanto...but the end result is that a secret committee of faceless bureaucrats gets to tell the world what to eat because a bunch of whiny US biotech firms don't get the point that some of us are suspicious of their so called good intentions.

Maybe they might take note of the fact that more than half of European consumers think GM food is dangerous, hence the bans. Naturally this whole incident comes off as another "The U.S. effort to force GM foods upon unwilling consumers" (Jim Murray). Who's next? Probably Africa. Maybe you remember vaguely that even countries with famine were turning down food aid of GM grain products. "We do not want GM (genetically modified) foods" and our hope is that all of us can continue to produce non-GM foods," Zambian Agriculture Minister Mundia Sikatana.

Unfortunately I can't stop Monsanto and other unsavory folks from fucking around with nature and dabbling in the dark arts. Latest thing I heard about was trees...Genetically modified trees? As if regular trees weren't good enough...Unfortunately they just don't seem to have anything better to do. Wonder if people would buy GM foods if they were clearly labelled? Not me, at any rate. You'd think if nothing else, Christians would be very offended by people playing god with this stuff but I have yet to hear this issue given the same kind of exposure as stem cell research. I won't hold my breath either.

State of the Union

State of the Union

“No matter how cynical anyone may be about the government…” Kinda sad they have to start off on that note, don’t you think? Does anyone still remember what it was like to not be cynical about the government?

"A security nightmare" (ha! I wish to god that someone would do something--anything--to interrupt this tragic farce and expose the sham for what it is...!)

"Bush's approval ratings according to an abc poll are at 42% which is the worst since Nixon during Watergate." Ah but they had the balls to impeach people back then. Now we're so much more complacent. Nobody has the nerve to do anything nowadays.

"Do you think he’s going to make any concessions to the Democrats?"
Hell no. He's from TEXAS...he doesn't need to make concessions to anybody. You know what they say, "Don't Mess with Texas".

"...Not exactly a uniting president..."
Well no shit bobby. If we got any further apart we could have a nice civil war.

"...How much applause are we gonna see?"
Too much in my opinion...far too much.

Cindy Sheehan was allegedly in the front row (and tried to smuggle in a banner) so she got kicked out by security. I would love to have seen HER reactions to his extensive exposition on the war...alas we are deprived of the pleasure. I'm sure whatever I thought about it pales in comparison.

"Democrats and Republicans united"?
Ha! Hard to imagine it. Or wait, maybe not…the more I think about it, the Democrats (with a few notable exceptions) have been acting like a bunch of hopeless sellouts since approving the Patriot Act and the Iraq War. Pansies.

Since when is speaking up against sheer stupidity is partisan rancor?
Whew.

This is an election year. Pay attention kids.

----------------------------------------------------------

Talks about Coretta Scott King in his opening remarks.
Instead of hearing y'all talk about the heroes of the civil rights era, what I'd like to see is a little more emphasis on some actual civil rights. I'm sure between the illegal wire tapping, secret prisons, and whatnot, plenty of civil rights are being violated on account of Mr. Bush.

Moment of National mourning…
I think we should have a moment of National Mourning for all the people who have died in this silly war.

Determine the future and the character of our country

Free trade, isolationism and protectionism

The only way to protect our people…we will continue to lead.

Seek the end of tyranny long term goal

Invokes sept 11

So we will act boldly in freedoms cause

Hopeless dream

Claims that half of the world is a democracy

Radical islam! Ideology of terror

Bin laden

Heartless system of totalitarian control

They’re in iraq

We can’t retreat within our borders

There is no peace in retreat. There is no honor in retreat.

United states will not retreat from the world, we will never surrender to evil

America rejects the false comfort of isolationism

We’re doing such selfless lovely things in iraq

I am confident in our plan for victory

We are winning

The road to victory is the road that will take our troops home

Talking about reducing troop levels

We will continue to seek your good advice…but we don’t want to hear anything we don’t want to hear.

Support our troops!

Hamas must disarm!

Iran sponsors terrorists and that must come to an end

Iranian nuclear power

We respect your right to choose you own future…but we want you to change

Offensive…isolationism…our friends…show compassion…hiv…corruption…terrorism…human trafficking…drug trade

Compassion of America

Terrorism here at home

The cia deserves our thanks

Reauthorize the patriot act (republicans stand)

Wiretaps…I went there. Terrorist surveillance program. We want to know who you are talking to.

The only alternative to American leadership is a most dangerous world

Freedom is on the march

A long war (generation)

Immigrants

Our economy could not survive without them

Tax cuts make them permanent

A massive tax increase looms large in the imagination of republicans

We’re going to cut 140 social service programs that aren’t national priorities

I want the line item veto

Entitlement programs…social security (tax increases and deficits)

"Congress did not act on my proposal for social security"
This was the funniest part of the whole state of the union address, the whole democrat corner stands up and clapped and cheered. that was the funniest thing ever...I laughed so hard. this totally beats a banner drop any day of the week.

So after thinking that maybe this was the year that Immigration was going to be serious topic of discussion, now we're back to the same tired ineffective ideas we have been kicking around for years. None of which have worked before, and none of which take any notice of reality.

"Secure borders...Border protection and enforcement"
(Yep, let's just build us here one a them uh great walls of China, that there works real good). Sheesh.
"Rational humane guest worker program"

and rejects amnesty"

"Affordable healthcare"
For those who can afford it. The rest of us can do without.

"Wider use of electronic records"
After a lot of high profile incidents of misuse and disclosure of electronic records last year, you might want to re-think that idea.

Trying to blame desire for tort reform on ob gyn access

America is addicted to oil. Never thought I’d hear him say that!

Energy…zero emission coal plants. Nuclear energy

Doesn’t mention anything new

This was a cutting edge stuff 15 years ago…

"We can move beyond our dependence on oil by 2025"
yeah, when it's all gone anyway, it'll be real easy to quit cold turkey.

"We need to have more science and math"
Sure we do. We also need more math and science teachers. Oh, darn, but then you have to PAY them...and who wants to do that? Maybe the kids will just learn math and science through osmosis...just like George did! When in doubt, increase the ammount of testing.

"Compassionate decent hopeful society"
...would be one that cares enough about it's children to make education a priority. And fund it too.

"Welfare caseloads have dropped"
Yeah, when you kick people off welfare, caseloads DO tend to go down. It's as amazing as rain in Seattle! As much as I'd like to think it's because everyone went off and got decent jobs with enough money left over to buy food AND pay for daycare, somehow I have my doubts.

Fewer abortions

"A revolution of conscience"
I'm surprised nobody's having a revolution of conscience about what happened after Katrina.

"a life of personal responsibility"
So kicking people off of welfare and abstinence promotion are what you have to offer?

"We have two wonderful new members Alito and Roberts"
Oh yeah, they're REAL wonderful. Helloooo dark ages. I shudder to think about this for too long. On that note, I should take a minute to send a personal message to some senators (y'all know who you are), "Fuck you!" What were you thinking for nominating these guys? Reminds me of a letter i got from Bill Frist one time telling me essentially that his policy is to confirm whatever person bush decides to nominate. Well do you think that'll hold if they decide they need a trained monkey? What was hilarious is they basically told Sandra Day O'Connor, "Bye bye Sandra…go away now. We won’t miss you".

"85 billion dollars of aid to Katrina victims"

i can't help but wonder how much of this is going to end up in the pockets of carpet baggers who will come in and buy up the treme or the 9th ward, and build satellite hotels for the french quarter.
i was kinda hoping there'd be some kind of apology for the way fema handled the aftermath of katrina but he sure as hell didn't go THERE.

"job skills for the poor"
...yo, how about just some jobs if that's not asking the obvious...maybe that's the real problem.

"education for every child"
and a chicken in every pot! no seriously, i think they mighta been thinking a prison for every child.

ideological conflict

science and commerce

we must decide will we finish the war in iraq

we will lead freedoms advance

go where i'm not going

maybe i'm a glutton for punishment--
i don't know why i torture myself by going to these things, when i should know better.
"it's good to know what you're getting into", they say all the time.
sitting in a room full of people, the chosen ones, the bright shining faces of the future...
well i'm sitting in the dark--
i wish i could be you--and not have these fears and doubts,
the cares that i would not have, were i not myself,
and i would not have to ask for the future, at the expense of the present,
but i sit in the dark, listening to you make your big plans,
and wonder when my time will ever come.

A raisin in the sun

Thought of the Week:

What happens to a dream deferred?
Does it dry up
like a raisin in the sun?
(Langston Hughes)

Where do I go from here? That will be the all consuming topic of the next year...stay tuned folks.

chilli cookoff

today was a day of small miracles. for the first time in ages it seems, the sun was out all day long. when i woke up it was shining in the window...which it often does before disappearing behind a wall of grey shortly after 10 am. not today though. i could hear the robins chirping and hopping around outside. i think it's gonna stick for a little while, this turn in the weather...

spent most of the morning turning the beds outside. we have such lovely dirt...i'm sure it is mostly due to the hard work of those who came before us, but i appreciate it after dealing with the immensely sticky alkaline clay we had in ashland. i never would have been able to turn 5 beds of that stuff by hand...no way. finally saw some worms...that's a good sign. if i can keep the weeds at bay, i'm gonna plant some spring crops soon. figure it can't hurt to try...i was able to grow carrots last year in this weather. i noticed the neighbor's camelia is blooming...digging and hoeing is a good workout, forget the bally's membership.

heard a strange sound, and looked up in the willow. there was a young hawk up there. couldn't believe it! we don't have any kinda wildlife around here but pigeons, crows and rats. can't recall ever seeing a hawk. hope it'll stick around and eat the huge rats we have in the garden...it's kinda creepy having them scampering around under foot...one thing's for sure, you can't go in the garden barefoot on account of 'em. i ran inside and got my binoculars and got a good look. yep it's a hawk. too bad the crows chased it away before i could show it to sarah.
since it was sunny i got to see my favorite dog who lives next door. what a cutie pie, i missed him. neither of us gets out much when it rains.

it's weird having stephen gone...apparently he's in north dakota now so he's almost there. says it's snowing...i can imagine.

today was very satifsying. i finished my homework, and got to eat chilli and drink beer. a thoroughly satisfying day. i wonder if will and melissa still have the chilli cookoff... i feel like i'm keeping the tradition alive at any rate.
here's what i would enter, if i were there:
brian's almost famous no-bean, no meat chilli:
(no beans because he can't eat 'em, no meat because it's a vegetarian recipe. I'm sure you're wondering what's left, but fortunately TJ provided a solution for that long ago: millet!)
no idea what all's in it in the way of spices but i'm sure it's all the usual suspects...tomato sauce, onions, and whatnot. the secret ingredient is a bottle of beer, then you add 1 lb fake sausage (real if you prefer but we're not into it), and about 2 cups of cooked millet. cook it all together in a slow cooker and it turns out beautifully! we eat it with fritos and cheese and a bottle of beer. word.

signs of spring

bulbs are poking up out the ground,
tulips, daffodils and irises are rising out of the dormant ground,
the buds on the trees are starting to swell,
plums are starting to look like they're on verge
of bursting into flower,
walking along alberta,
being out in the rain is no longer unpleasant,
but rather a meditation,
everywhere i look,
the robins are hopping around and chirping,
the rhubarb is uncurling out of the ground,
the garlic shoots are sticking up out of the earth,
defiant spires of green,
spring is on the march,
the will of the earth is awakening,
out of the torpor of winter's sleep,
in defiance of my sadness,
life begins to bloom

内人

the last time i spoke,
was long ago,
sometimes i feel like too much like a neiren 内人,
i have not ventured,
beyond these walls of silence in a long long while,
not realizing of course,
that sometimes you need to cross boundaries,

i don't get out much any more,
but it was not always this way,

we passed through each other's doors,
on our way through the world,
and had stories to tell,
songs to sing,
and the hopes of our hearts,
were worn plainly upon our sleeves,
every day was a struggle,
and all the glory and majesty of our days,
was still before us,
i need to reclaim the urgencies of those days,
before it is lost to me forever