April 2003

MLK March

2003 Apr 04

Today was the April 4th March, an annual event in Memphis that commemorates the date MLK Jr was assasinated while visiting here. I got up early and caught a ride down to Lemoyne Owen with Sandy and Steve. We got there just in time. I think it was better this year because instead of doing it downtown they did it in S. Memphis, more people came, and there were lots of different groups participating. It was really uplifting.

After that I hung out with Liz for awhile, then caught the #52, and went downtown to pay a fine at the Police Station. They were closed (because of Apr 4, although the guards at the police station were ignorant of what Apr 4th is). I caught #50 just in time to go to Unemployment, file, then catch Union bus and make the tightest connection ever with the #52 to go home. amazing bus karma. then it was time for work...

not according to plan

2003 Apr 05

i was supposed to plant the garden early this morning but i didn't come home until noon. oh well.

matt and jessica did a good amount of work without me. i helped them when i got there and planted beans and squash and such.

then casey called and said there's a chinese dance troupe preforming downtown...the train leaves in 15 minutes. so i hauled ass over to midtown. we all piled into the back of karen's car and got there just in time. turned out it wasn't free. we went anyway. at one point they called for audience volunteers and i tried to get casey to go up there (she's into dance), but she wouldn't, so i had to do it to get her to go up on stage. i'm as graceful as a barge...it was fun though. after that, i missed the band i was supposed to see with brian but we went to rp tracks, and had a nice bike ride before dark.

hot tempers on cold days.

2003 Apr 06

it had been really really nice all week, but when i woke up this morning, wham it was cold as shit.

my phone rang quite early. it was liz with bad news. she got into a terrible fight with jay and was leaving asap. that's a long time coming, but it's still sad.

there was a nice little thunderstorm (which we celebrated), but after that riding a bike seemed laughable at best. instead we went to the plant sale (froze), then decided just to fuck it all, and go to the walmart in w. memphis to get some garden stuff. for ya indiana folks, w. memphis is like going to martinsville if it had big truck stops. after that i spent all afternoon fooling with my graphic files, then we watched a few movies, and made a big pot of curry.

liz called again. this time she was in arkansas heading to tx. i told her i'd see what i could do about getting the rest of her stuff. i hope she's okay...she's one of my best friends, and we've been through alot together. thank god i don't have to put up with the shit she does. hopefully, i never will, inshallah. i have the love of a beautiful soul, who i think i can trust. i hope this will be true for a long time to come.

2003 Apr 07

today's still cold and rainy. i did get a lot done though, went and hauled home some firewood, repotted several seedlings, uploaded some photos, hung out with ram and made salsa.

raise your hand if you don't feel like shit...

i think i'm going back to bed for awhile. i haven't been sleeping hardly at all lately. just can't settle down.

it's beautiful outside right now...trees are blooming, and there's flowers everywhere. it's soo green, but just wait, a few weeks from now it's gonna be intense. i could do without the pollen but i love spring.

feelin' crappy today

2003 Apr 08

took 4 tries to open my eyes this morning...last night it was all gunshots and birds and planes keeping me up...today it's cold and cloudy. felt awful but made it to class. hopefully some of what i said made sense...everyone did really well today. musta been feeling better than me. came home and went back to bed. let's try this again.

i woke up and went outside and planted some garlic and collards, then came to check my email. some cranky motherfuckers, folx seriously need to lighten up around here. i feel more sad for them than angry at their hotheaded words. if you don't have a sense of humor, then what do you have to get you through life in this world?

i'm gonna scoot and go water jay's dog. it's a convenient excuse to go look for liz's scrapbooks that she wanted me to get. i hope the day gets better sometime...

camping! yay!

2003 Apr 12

finally, i get to go camping...it's been too long since the last time i went. we got off to a bit of a late start, but it was inevitable. we drove to jackson, and stayed out in the woods on someone's land. had to put up the tent in the dark, like usual...but it's all good. i went with Brian, Denny's ex, Julie, her partner Luke, Melissa and her baby, Martina-a woman from Germany and her two girls Maya and Lena. There was a sweat lodge out there that we were going to partake in, but for the first night, it was just us setting up tents, roasting marshmallows, chopping wood, and heating up some lentil stew. man it felt good to be out of the city, and out in the woods...crazy as it sounds, my allergies were less bothered...guess i'm cool with those kinda trees...the moon light was beautiful, and brian had an open roof tent, so i could lay there and look at it without being outside.

the hot seat

2003 Apr 13

getting up at 5 am wasn't my cup of tea, especially after getting bit by no-see-ums all night. i got a little sleep but not much, mind you. so i didn't move until 7:30 which seemed wise. after an intense bonding experience with some coffee and a breakfast concept, i helped out with the fire building drank lots of water, and played with Lena and Maya a bit. then it was time for some sweatin! basically there's some ritual involved, and the end result of the sweatlodge is that you are sitting in a circle with other folks, some hot stones, and a lot of steam and good vibes. it sure was hot, but it felt good to sweat like that, so thoroughly. it being my first time, i only did a couple of rounds, and helped with the carrying in of the stones.

by mid-afternoon it was time to hit the dusty trail. i let brian drive so i could look around. we drove south through jackson, tn, and took a country road south to pick up Poplar Ave, as it is known out in Grand Junction. Then we moved on west towards civilization, until i started seeing places I'd heard of. He showed me collierville, then we went back to his place and crashed for awhile. It sure felt good to take a shower after all that...

late nights

2003 Apr 14

wasn't feelin' so hot today, and it was pretty hot today, and there's no way i'm fixin' to do too much today...jessica told me there was a staff meeting tonight, and well nobody told me, but if i'm working anyway, i won't have to worry much about it.

the afternoon passed by very quickly, since i spent most of it hopping around all over town, i didn't get all my usual monday type stuff done.

i swung over to work around sunset, chatted with sarah, and discovered there were not that many dishes to wash. so i took out the trash instead. or tried to. the bins were so heavy i literally couldn't move them. weird. got a plate of food and next thing i know it's time for the meeting. basically it was just a "we're all doing fine so far" kinda meeting, with a few minor things to discuss and an update on the AC/Plumbing scenarios. An hour later, and it's back to dishes. what's amazing is that it took even longer than usual inspite of having less work to do. i don't get it. didn't get home until 12:30 am and gotta get up at 7am...

another tuesday

2003 Apr 15

at 4 am my phone died. knew it would sometime, but since it was also pulling double duty as my alarm, i was kinda worried i wouldn't wake up on time. amazingly though, i woke right up at 7 am.

the pollen around here's about to killl me...like having glass in my lungs, oy it hurts...all the good it did me to get to class early, and i still end up assembling packets in class. so much for being prepared. had a couple of new folks, so i hope i didn't freak them out too much. also had a guest appearance from Margie. haven't seen her in ages.

it was pretty hot around noon, so i came home and broke down for a bit of the afternoon. planted tomatoes and eggplants, then lo and behold it's time to give brian a call. slacker me, i had to go to the post office, so no bike ride. instead we made sushi and went on a late ride over to the tire swings. i really enjoyed the evening...it was intensely beautiful and full of sweetness.

wednesday's woes

2003 Apr 16

man, who knew so much was gonna go wrong today...

pollen's been pretty atrocious...so i spent most of the day inside.

i found out that my brother's going to get sent to kuwait soon. frankly this scares the hell out of me...it also makes me more angry about this whole stupid war because nobody should die over this shit. i'm pretty worried about it. so if anyone in iraq is reading this, please don't shoot at my brother, thanx.

the rest of the day was pretty uneventful. i went to work and did my normal thing. njeri had her 8 wk old granddaughter with her...she was doin' the grandma thing on wed night. i got done with the dishes early and was hanging out with toya when some strange dude rolled up off the street and walked through what was supposed to be a locked door. after sending him on his way, i left. halfway home, my car died at a stoplight. fuck. it's like 10:30 at night. i couldn't get it to start, so I pushed it out of the intersection. two guys were nearby and helped me push it. we got it into a parking lot and i spent the next hour trying to ascertain if it was anything simple to fix. nope. so i left it for the morning...bye bye tax refund. shit.

the road to nowhere leads to...

2003 Apr 17

after making a million and two phone calls, i found a likely place to toss lots of money i don't even have to get my car fixed, and met up with the tow truck. it was a trip...the driver was this big burly dude who was telling me "yeah, i don't lock my doors...i don't give a shit...if someone wants something THAT bad" and that he has 6 cats. shit, sounds like my house...that was worth $58. i was right on about it being the timing belt. whew, THAT's expensive...i don't even wanna think about it.

brian called me on my way back home, big ol' sweetpie. ;) went over to the co-op and ran into sarah. she asked me if i wanted to go for a ride later.

i thought she had forgotten, but lo and behold she calls back and i ride back to midtown. "have you ever been to the bridge to nowhere" NOPE. "wanna go?" SURE. So I rendevouz with Brian, some bad drivers on Poplar and we head up there. basically it's an unfinished interstate, pretty surreal spot...you can see everything, and walk around on what would be a major entrance ramp to I-40...except it was never built. then i had to haul ass back home for house meeting. scored a free bag of bagels just like the good ol' days. dumpster dive!

s/he is the one who picks up the worms off the sidewalk

2003 Apr 23

"today is a good day to die, it's also a good day to live." I forget sometimes how beautiful this place can be. In the winter one forgets, but now the city is alive with blooming green lush colors.

"each small action is capable of changing everything in the entire universe." riding my bike i feel at peace with all the trees overhead...people in cars around me are seem hurried and frustrated. i'm moving at the same speed as the neighborhood kids, the birds flying past, the butterflies...and i have time to run into people I haven't seen in awhile.

"I've been feeling a bit discouraged of late. it is the vitriolic rhetoric and the name-calling and overall heightened level of aggression and hostility that one seems to encounter everywhere these days." whenever i move outside my circle of healthy sane people, i feel this aggression everywhere. people are so unbalanced right now. i think everyone is deeply afraid. "Gentleness and empathy have given way to harshness and hardness of heart. I -- and the many empathic people like me -- have been in some considerable pain."

who "heard my heart's cry and wanted me to know that humanity has some good left within it still and that some individual human beings can and will perform random acts of kindness just because they cannot bear to do otherwise." no matter how crazy things get, i still will be that person who tries to make the world a little less ugly and a little less mean. "no act of compassion goes unnoticed...there are Gods and Spirits who do see and do care. Very much."

I spent most of the day in the garden pulling weeds and watering the crops. It's amazing how tenacious weeds can be...very optimistic. so small today, but capable of overwhelming an entire bed of tomatoes in only a month. The neighborhood cats all came by to see what I was doing, hunched over on a milkcrate. on the way to work, i watched the sun setting over the trainyard, and saw life going on, all over the neighborhood. everyone was out washing cars, mowing lawns, playing tag, kickin' it on porches, riding bikes, walking to the store, playing music, and talking to neighbors. "Life heard and answered Itself...Love, kindness and compassion can transform the world."-Wren Walker

wida's movin' on up, moving on up

2003 Apr 26

pried myself out of bed on a saturday morning to babysit mansoor. not the usual events though, because today was the big day...wida's finally moving out of merriwhether.

first stop was to drop off wida, and pick up the vans, and my dad who was gonna help me do this. wida didn't get off until 1 pm...spent the first couple of hours loading boxes into the vans. i was amazed at how much she had time to do while still working every day. not bad. no wonder she was so sick of it, though...there was a mountain of boxes waiting for us in the living room. the sudanese guys who live next door helped us out too, and it went pretty fast. next thing i know, it's time to pick up wida.

after ascertaining that ali was not ready for us to show up, we went over there anyway and started unloading.

it got progressively harder during the day, but we had help from sajjad's family too, so that made it easier. liz lent a truck to the effort, and we finished the whole thing by 7pm.

man i was beat. brian and i went over to rp tracks and ate, and i nearly fell asleep at the wheel taking the van back. i slept reeeeeel good that night...mansoor took it real well and wida was so happy to be done with it.

a lot more where that came from

2003 Apr 27

no sleeping in today. brian had to go play drums over at africa in april. that means up up up before 9 AM. oh well. there's more to life than sleeping in from what i hear. i was deeply disappointed that no one was selling xylophones this year. i did find someone who was selling lemongrass incense (might keep the skeeter away?), and bergamot which i love dearly the smell of...i missed most of everything because i was preoccupied by dylan (astrid's daughter) who i encouraged to draw all over my arm with a marker, which i was fine with...kept her out of trouble.

after that we were pretty hungry, i managed to talk brian into bypassing all the greasy vendors and instead, going to Njeri's so i could get something decent for lunch on the employee discount, and get paid for the week. then we hit the gem and mineral show all afternoon. after all that, you'd think i'd be tired...nope. ;)

spent the rest of the afternoon chillin' out drinking some beer and watching the unfinished second half of the bizarre star wars holiday special from 1970-something. pretty weird. i can't believe that was intended to be family viewing considering there's some blatantly trippy ass shit going on in there. throw in some simpsons (watched or otherwise) and some southpark and I called it a day.

i got the blues

2003 Apr 28

(insert blues riff here) repair guy call me up this morning to give me bad news...the fix is gonna cost me more than i ever knew...

uh oh, not feeling so well either. i got a sore throat, a cough, some aches and my head hurts. sounds a lot like denny's cold to me. shit.

after i left, someone stole the cypress tree i bought on sunday. we had it stashed behind the shed in back, and he was supposed to take it to my house after work. i think it's brian's landlord because a neighbor came and hinted that he had been around. what kind of lousy fucking person would steal a tree? how lame can you get? a tree? bikes and cd players, i can see now...but come on. he totally denied it though so i guess i'll never know. there goes another blow to my faith in humanity. poor tree. i was going to take it to a happy place where it would have the company of more trees, a pond, frogs, birds, and inshallah, no one would tear it down to build a parking lot. sniff.

spent the rest of the afternoon doing shit around the house and feeling lethargic. then renae offered to take me to the bank, and on the way i picked up some things i had my eye on this morning...mainly shit for the garden...someone already got the paint.

before i knew it, brian came over and took me to the co-op so i could get some provisions to do battle with the crappy cold.

i was supposed to go to my mom's to take care of her while she's recovering from surgery, but I'm sick now, so that's no good.

i called gertrude to tell her what rock i've crawled under lately, and she told me that mr. howard died on Friday. HOWARD McDONALD, 73, of Memphis, retired from International Harvester, died Sunday at his home. Mr. McDonald, the husband of Arnette McDonald, also leaves a sister, Jessie Bell Cunningham; a brother, Webbie Lee McDonald, and a half-sister, Mattie Lee Henderson, all of Memphis. He was one of my students, and i have missed him because he was very wise, and always brightened my day. about a year ago, he fell ill and hasn't been coming since, but gertrude would keep me posted, and we would send him cards on holidays. This makes me sad, but since he wasn't well at all lately, it's probably for the best.

what a crappy day...I guess it's monday though. that explains a lot.