owwwwww

I won't take a bunch of time to describe my back problems in detail, but for the better part of three weeks I've been down and out.

Oh well, maybe my old weary body needs some rest. maybe it'll give me some time to think about things. Realize that I need to get on with things...

when i feel like getting out of bed again, that is.

sigh.

overkill bill

I've been working waaaay too hard lately. Although I haven't lost my sense of humor (yet) my body is protesting mightily. I'll be paying for the past month for years to come.

If I live to see 40 it'll be a miracle...or a curse. hard to say which one at the moment.

just like christmas

okay so last week was craaaaaaaazy! oh don't look now! this week is shaping up to be about the same...oh brother...at least we have our fearless leader l---- back. i wouldn't even dare do estimates on a 100 lb tv or a 150 pc china set, i would prefer to go climb into a box and never ever come out again.
so without further ado, here's todays free utterly cranky unsolicited advice about the happy world of logistics:

1. china. Not the country, but the dishes. Really, I can't say this enough, don't try this shit at home kids. Seriously, if you are planning on shipping china and aren't going to bubble wrap it with three layers of bubble wrap, do yourself a favor and take up the fine art of mosaics...Because what else are you gonna do with a box full of broken china?
You may already be asking, "How do I avoid this oh so tragic fate?" For the lazy, the answer is obvious: suck it up and part ways with your hard earned cash and take it to a professional. For the more motivated, here's a couple of handy hints:

Paper: throw that shit in the recycle bin where it belongs. Paper and china don't belong together in a box, and I don't care IF it was that way when you bought it because it certainly wasn't shipped to the place (where you bought it) through UPS in some flimsy recycled box. The paper will do nothing to protect china except take up space and add to your shipping weight. It does NOT protect the china from shock.
Same goes for clothes. Sure when you are moving, you can sorta rig something up where you wrap plates and glasses in shirts, but that only works for the back of your car or Uhaul truck. It's not a good idea with shipping because that shits is gonna flop around all the way from the truck to the conveyor belts back onto the truck, maybe transfer a few times, who knows. Don't try it with something you care about. Either score some bubble wrap and wrap it a bare minimum of two times, or don't bother mailing it, simple as that.

2. Macroeconomics and Fuel: The realities of gas. No, I'm not talking about the aftermath of you last trip to Tacobell. Let's face it gas is expensive these days, which I'm sure you've noticed unless you've been hiding in a cave since bush was elected(?!...not a bad idea actually, can you show me where that cave was? thanks...). This affects the cost of shipping in obvious ways because things move from point a to point b either by means of gasoline or diesel fuel. No flying pink elephants in this equation. Consider for a moment if the item is worth shipping...if you send a 5 lb box all the way to the other side of the country, then you've just totally bypassed the $10 mark. This is no less true if the item weighs a lot more. This affects whether or not you should buy the crazy ass shit you see on ebay. Whether you should send large bulky but valueless and easily replaced items. And whether you should send gifts...or giftcards (hint--most people are FINE with giftcards). Think BEFORE you ship. Or don't bother complaining about the price. It's not like I get the money...blame that shit on oil companies or george bush or whoever floats your boat.

3. FRIENDLY REMINDER: If you are procrastinating like a motherfucker, don't act like I'm the one who needs to hurry up just because you can't get your shit together. Like it's my fault. THANK YOU :)

4. UPS does not stand for United Pot Smokers, but thanks for reminding me that I'm definitely not a 14 year old kid anymore. ;)

5. Aesthetics: If you bring in some shoddily wrapped beat up package, of course I'm going to ask you about it, possibly open it up and inspect it, and maybe tell you it's a bad idea. It's my job to make you aware of the dangers of careless packaging. Trust me it's not because I have anything against you, or want to make more money by selling you a box, but after awhile you get a feel for what will and will not make it to the other side. And like I really want to spend any more time repacking your stuff if it's not absolutely necessary.

okay, that's a collection of wisdom inspired by the past 48 hours.
don't know what's gotten into everyone but our package volume is starting to look like the week before christmas. it's starting to look like this week's gonna be as crazy as last week. who knows what is behind it all, but whatever, the world is a mysterious place, friend.

time to go play with my wine. It's blackberry time.

tour de fat, 2006

Well it's that time again. The Tour de Fat came back through Portland again this year and like I need much of an excuse to put on a costume and ride a bike around town. Having an offer of beer at the end just sweetens the deal. I would only be reading about this, but fortunately I was relieved of Saturday duty and was able to play for a change. The only problem this year is that it was very hot--very very hot. Oh well, the heat held off just long enough to talk brian into coming with me, so we rode all over downtown with a pack of sexy bikes. Some crazy woman was yelling at us early on in the ride, but otherwise people were either rather intrigued or totally blase. I noticed that people in the pearl district in particular are really are stuck up as advertised, now that i've seen it for myself. Who knows, maybe this sort of thing happens every other day in Portland, but anywhere else I think people would go nuts if they saw people going down the street en mass on bikes dressed up like it's halloween. The guy who has the bell that sounds like a telephone rocks.

I sure am loving the road machine that I put back together. My old bike woulda worn me out long before the end of the ride, the big hunka steel monster ain't meant for going up and down hills. I was tired by the end though and the sun was coming out in force. I spent some quality time in the fountain afterwards, tried on some new beer and knew i shoulda rode around on the trick bikes, but let the opportunity evade me. Instead i watched the sideshows until it was too hot to think, then we went home for awhile and came back to see March 4th play at 5:30.

I love this event, it has all the makings of a good time. No hefty admission fees, no suggested donations of bulky items that are impractical to transport by bike, a perfectly good excuse to wear costumes, look at hot bikes, dance and drink beer. Frankly the year is just gonna go downhill from here.

Thanks new belgium.

what a week

it's been a crazy week, mainly because of work. after the aftermath of drama and excitement, turbulence, craziness and well you get the idea. don't know why everyone had to come out of the woodwork to add to it, but that's the way these things go.

i'm all excited about not working this saturday. i was kinda disgruntled that i had to in the first place, but after the horrors that came my way this week, it went from being annoying to scary thinking about what would happen if i snapped and went postal. fortunately i now can participate in bike pageants and saturday-ish fun.

i spent the day riding my bike to celebrate my newfound freedom. i had thoughts of going down the springwater trail...but instead i found myself out at the tualatin nature preserve. i knew i should have gone in july, i missed out on a lot of good wild edibles, but i did amuse myself with the last of the thimbleberries and some salal berries growing along the path. the trees were quiet and cool, and i had no idea how wonderful it felt back in the woods until i came out into the hot sun.
on the way back home i noticed there was a nice patch of black currants, and no doubt provided hours of amusement for bewildered suburbanites as i stood there entranced by the ribes, and filled up a bag in plain sight of the whole modern world. some kid musta been inspired by my example, but her mom said, "no you can't eat those, they're poisonous".

yeah. they're poisonous. that would be why i'm standing in the hot sun picking them...rii-iiight.

the ribes family is pretty unknown in the united states, but they're popular as hell in europe. i hadn't lived anywhere with an appropriate climate so had not encoutered them until i moved to oregon where they grow quite happily. apparently they were an alternate carrier of white pine rust back in the day and the growing of them was banned in favor of the timber industry. as a result, they are only slowly beginning to make a comeback, and hence the lack of familiarity...although these days most people are so ignorant about the origins of food that they wouldn't recognize an apple tree if they ran right into one. one can make currant jam or liquer like creme de cassis but i'm thinking a gallon of wine is about my speed at the moment.

we have so many tomatoes now. i'm pretty happy about it. the garden is doing well and the mystery squash turned out to be some variety of pumpkin. the mystery tomatoes look like they might be paste tomatoes, and the yellow cherry tomatoes are good. the chard is huge. my greens are looking nice. it's almost time to plant carrots and parsnips and fall crops again.

it's hard to believe i've been here a year. and i still don't know anyone other than the people i live with. kinda discouraging, but that's the way things go. i guess people in the north prefer to keep to themselves and that's just the way it is. if my only friend is the neighbor's dog, then so be it.

tomorrow's the tour de fat. i'm looking forward to gettin' my bike on.
word.

the wine spectator

tired as shit, it was a rough rough day at work. that i did anything other than lie on the couch like a sack and drink beer is miraculous enough.
did my wine grunt thing and swapped out the carboy of blackberry wine.
now we've got 3 bottles of strawberry-rhubarb wine, and gallons of blackberry.
i can hardly wait to drink it all...

5 minute post

5 minute update for tired blogger,
went camping at champoeg state park,
watched hay drying in the sun,
sheep and llamas,
blackberries and blackhaws,
st louis ponds,
hops hops hops and heat,
campfires and sangria,
smores and snores,
good times...aww yeah