May 15-30, 2003

car theft

2003 May 15

i know i post a lot. i might chill for a few days...

last night my car got broken into. they fucked up the lock and got pissed and broke out the window and stole my cd player. oddly enough, i'm more upset about the window and the lock...i think the old stereo is still at my parent's house.

i have a nagging suspicion that it may have to do with the guy that followed me home last night. some cracked out dude on a bike. wouldn't that be nice, huh?

i'm emotionally drained...not to mention financially. i realize that EVERYONE in memphis has their car broke into. EVERYONE. but i'm just not in the mood today...

oh the irony...

2003 May 16

saw the matrix last night. there was more emphasis on action sequences this time, with some downright badass shit. of course it's not as good as the original, but the fight scenes/chase scenes make up for that.

this morning when i woke up my car was fucking gone. it got stolen outright sometime during the night...even with my precaution of moving it to a "secure location". shit. what kind of fucking bullshit is this? i do have insurance which is handy, but the recovery rate in memphis is somewhere around 70-80%. and it's not considered a high priority to look for stolen cars...sigh.

sure has been a shitty past couple of days. i'm really into laying low right now. not that this helps...

lost and found

2003 May 17

someone found my car and called the police, so now it's sitting in the impound lot. at least now i know where it is. wonder if it's driveable...

this whole thing has been pretty fucked up. it could always be worse, tho.

last night i had to work until 12:30...some private party and they hung around for hours after eating. oh well. i need the money. there were tornado sirens going off and we were oblivious...washing dishes, cooking food...not huddling in basements like the rest of the city. couldn't hear nothing...saw lots of rain but that's about it. pretty flooded around here tho.

i'm tired as hell. it's been a messed up week and i'm pretty weary. slept until noon and other than making kimchee haven't done much since. if i have my way, i won't do very much either.

bus to nowhere

2003 May 22

bad bus karma today...whew. got on the #2 to terminal. fucking useless decafinated coffee...saw the 52 and got on it, but right by dhs on jackson the driver says we need to get off. silly me, i didn't know they had limited runs on jackson. fuck. not the nicest part of town either, but at 9 am, there's not too much hype, so i'll let this one go. just about the time it looks like there's never gonna be another bus, it comes. i'm on it all of about 5 minutes, and it dies just shy of bayliss. you've gotta be kidding...i give up and call for a ride. end up giving the woman who used my phone a ride to work because it makes sense. oy!

space cadets in south memphis

2003 May 23

i sure was a space cadet today...jessica called and reminded me that today was mulch day. fortunately liz was still in the mood. i got to ride in the back of the truck on the way out there, which i love. mulch is real cheap right now, yay! after picking it up, i hustled some sushi, and we stopped at easy way. then for round two, i went alone. i musta really been into the al green because next thing i know, i have no idea where i was. not a huge problem or anything, but that's as smooth as getting lost on the way to work. took the long way home, and found some new hotspots to check out later. was tired as shit after all that, but now the garden looks real good. that should keep the weeds in check.

25 miles from home

2003 May 24

been away from home for awhile...at camp 38135 for a week surrounded by cousins and wild times. got out of work friday and ended up seeing james taylor for free. spent the whole afternoon shovelling mulch, so i was tired, but not as tired as you might think. today was a 25 mile bike ride. don't know what's up with people hauling ass on distance rides. whatever. passed out on the felix house porch all afternoon until it was time for the cookout. pbr and some shish kebabs and tofu pups, yay tofu pups! beer is super attractive. feel like not doing shit after all this wild hyped up activity...even my speech is getting lazy. wonder where i'm going right now...feels like nowhere fast...like i'm walking in place. ain't nothing to lose, ain't nothing to gain...i'll stop now.

freebirdcartographslowmopediediedie

2003 May 28

and this is what they call livin'...i took the sushi in this morning, and hung out for awhile with april and ashley. found out ashley was interested in carrying herbs which is something i have a whole lot of...another small opportunity presents itself to the broke and down and out i. alfombe wants me to come in at 6 now. i guess that's just as well. i need the money anyhow. still can't get the botanical gardens to pay me. don't know what the fuck is up with that. hope they don't do that to everyone who works there. when i got home, jb was making pancakes. hell yeah, i love pancakes. especially when you also have raspberries to put in them. yum yum.

last night everone was real tired around here. we made sushi, but passed out afterwards. i think there's something in the air. i went for decorative this week, cute garnishes and the whole 9. eclectic too...more types of greens than you can shake a stick at. i had spent part of the day out in raleigh, since i scored a free ride to the bank and caught the #30 to the mall. it's amazing how rides materialize the minute you announce to the world "oh i'm just gonna take the bus". You have to beat them off with a stick. i keep having these weird dreams...

Memorial day: nice weather, but the whole town smells like barbecue. i had to work though. went to a cookout over at kaya's drank lots of beer (although not too much, don't want to be dropping dishes, now) and left early to go in to work, but oh, never mind. i could have stayed home. so i went home after talking to sue and sarah and going to ram's house and helping them out with garden stuff.

things are starting to grow now. soon there's gonna be peppers and tomatoes and eggplants. yay!

the roof sucks

2003 May 31

so we of declerye decided to work on a new section of the roof...we had some leftover materials from last time, and it was a small area. sounded easy...hmm, maybe not. first bad thing we discovered was that it was really rotted under the shingles. then we discovered the termites...lots and lots of 'em. then it turns out even the support beams are rotten. the wall too. we basically not only have to redo the roof, but also the walls. i think we may have $100 some dollars to do it with...shit.

spent saturday cleaning up construction debris, getting nasty shit in my lungs...went over to rp tracks with brian to take a break from it all with some vegan nachos. had an episode of drama. came back and watched ice age and passed out. maybe tomorrow will be better?

May 1-15,2003

Memphis in May job

2003 May 01

I heard about this gig from Julie...basically all the schools in the city do cultural activities in May. Part of this is having them all come to the botanical garden for two weeks in may, and they need people to run the booths. now granted, seeing 500+ hyped up children for 3 hours isn't everyone's cup of tea, but i've done this sort of thing before, and i need the money, so...it's not bad. i have the kind of patience you need to do this sort of thing. i go home and take a nap when i'm done, and do whatever else i'm planning on doing for the day. it pays way better than my other job which is a plus. for the most part, the kids aren't bad...can't always say the same for their teachers and parents though, yikes. the botanical gardens are beautiful...i wish it would quit raining so i could hang out after work and write in my journal. it's such a tranquil setting...once the kids leave at 12pm.

Brian came over and we rode all the way down to target and back. there was a badass dinner waiting when i got home. woo hoo. unfortunately renae and shawn have issues with each other that erupted at the house meeting. part of the problem is that renae's pretty different than the rest of us in a lot of ways, and some people deal with it better than others. the people i live with are probably a lot more judgemental than i am, i would guess.

i only judge people based on how they act, and can usually rise above judging them based on their externalities and other superficial elements. i've learned to never jump to wild conclusions...that girl wearing all the expensive name brand clothes might have actually gotten them at the thriftstore. the guy driving the SUV might have gotten it for free as a hand me down from some relative. That starbucks beverage? i might have scored it for free for all you know...so yeah, my little activistas...beware of making assuptions based on what you see. hell, even a cop might turn out to be pretty cool. don't think you know what's up with someone unless you know them well enough to determine what's going on.

i think we all have the same basic fears of people and things that are different than us...and the only way to get past them is to spend lots of time in new situations where you have to transcend your normal world and deal with new things. having moved in so many different circles i can say that for the most part we are all pretty much the same, we just express ourselves very differently. but there's a surprising degree of commonality between the rich girl, the african muslim refugee, the guy in the wheelchair, the old lady down the street, and the homeless guy who keeps asking me for a dollar. it's just a matter of looking past the surface...okay, enough of my diversity and tolerance lecture for today.

skeeters

2003 May 02

first day of memphis in may and it looks like it's going to rain...typical.

mosquitoes are out too. the herbal bug repellent works only so-so. oh well. i like the way it smells...

after work, i've just been taking it easy. i'll probably swing on over to brians in a minute, get some dinner and go down to see india irie. there's pretty much music up until 11pm...it's outdoors in a park downtown. hopefully it will stay dry.

i think my brother will come back in a week. i'll be quite glad to see him.

pretty low key day. i'm kinda tired. looking forward to just kicking back and listening to music. hopefully without too much mosquito action...river's notorious for them tho'.

Memphis in May and it didn't rain...

2003 May 03

Well, it didn't rain on Friday...We rode our bikes downtown and got there in time to see India Irie which was badass. Then I caught a little bit of Nappy Roots...and decided I liked the CD better so I cruised on over to Wilco. Then went and watched Booker T & The MG's. By then, I was pretty tired, my allergies were kickin' and the cigarettes were getting to me, so we called it a night.

Saturday was also sunny. I didn't wake up until noon either. By the time I got my car picked up and all that, it was nearly 5 pm, so I missed a whole lot of really good bands. So I just waited until Brian got off work and we parked by the police station, got toasty and barely caught RatDog. Went to eat dinner and missed Ko Ko Taylor, Susan Tedeschi

and the Gap Band. So with the time that was left, we caught Ben Harper. I actually missed Willie Nelson because i was starting to feel a bit overwhelmed by the crowds, so we hit the Blues Tent and caught the end of Richard Johnston. But what I was really interested in was Pinetop. And he didn't let me down...this time he had a whole backing band and really put it on...

Sunday, amazingly enough I didn't get out of the house until almost 3 pm so I missed Blind Mississippi Morris which is a shame because he's a real pleasure to watch. We caught Billy Lee Riley who was pretty cool...I could see him rockin' out back in the day...best band i saw all day though was Nickel Creek...damn they were good. It rained in spurts but not much, so I still enjoyed the experience. I watched some of the North Mississippi All Stars set until I realized there was some serious rain coming our way, and decided to call it a night.

Nick's back

2003 May 05

i came home this morning and the IDSE kids from Champaign Urbana were at my house. apparently they were passing through the area. i remember meeting them at Lawrence in the permaculture workshop that got rained out. they cooked us breakfast and headed out around mid afternoon.

at some point in the afternoon i was in the kitchen when nick rolled up. i had a feeling this morning when i passed the trainyard we'd be seeing him before the day was out.

turns out he had to hitchhike to get here, they got laid up in Florence, Alabama and somehow managed to get here in only a couple of rides...maybe his puppy is softening up his image.

we had a wild storm roll up this evening...real wild. kept me up all night so I didn't get much in the way of sleep. not helpful.

Sleep is the word

2003 May 06

Since I hardly slept at all last night, i was not feeling so hot this morning. I didn't have too many problems in class though, fortunately. David did real well this morning...last week was kind of hard for him, but today his word recognition was much better. Everyone was so into the story they made me go through 3 more chapters...It sounds like Beverly is about to graduate from transitional living to case management. I'm glad to be a part of it all somehow.

After class, I went right back to bed...it's not like I had any pressing issues to deal with on a tuesday.

I didn't do a whole lot today. Just one of those kinda days, I guess. The big push for today was harvesting greens, and really that's about it.

I made sushi but was limited by the quantity of nori so I only made a few cases. We finished in record time, and the evening was still young...

2003 May 08

today was one of those days you know you might as well just stay home...6 am...i wake up to a huge cockroach crawling on my arm. 8 am. pick wida and mansoor, go to the hospital. 9 am i didn't know where lebonheur was...then there was nowhere to park. 9:30 what a waste of time. they didn't have any record of the appointment. 10 am. i took mansoor over to headstart and went to work.

3:00 picked him up to go get his wic shots, 3:45 discover that the wic office closes at 3:30.

4:00 try to go to kroger, wida's ebt card is already ringing up insuficient funds, it's only the first week of the month...i have the all the wic stuff and hand them the voucher after the cashier rings up everything. they had to void everything...the cashiers are rolling their eyes, i just wanted to kick somebody. i figured i'd cut my losses, and go home, and stay there...

so much for slackin'

2003 May 10

I had the beautiful idea of having a slacker saturday. after a whole week of bustin' my ass, i figured it was time for one of those kinda days where you just sit around the house, and do a whole lot of not much.

oops, forgot i was supposed to be a parade marshall in the fuerza latina unida march. oh well, so much for sleeping in...so i went on out to mcfarland. there were tons of people which was awesome. lots of media there too, which is so weird...they never cover any of "our" events...i'm guessing somehow that maybe the interest on their part has to do with sensationalism..."oh look what those uppity minorities are up to now". yep, i'm cynical, can't you tell.

we walked about two miles. it was pretty hot...it has been for the past couple of days here. nothing much happened. one thing i noticed was that since we were in east memphis, it's like a totally different world. on saturday mornings, everyone stays inside in east memphis and it's real quiet. pretty inconceivable in my neighborhood, where on a saturday morning, all the kids would be out on their way to the park to play basketball, or riding bikes, and people would be out on their porches talking and men would be mowing lawns and washing cars...so in otherwords, it would never be THAT quiet unless everyone died the night before.

Once the march was over, I helped drive some people back, then went home and crashed out on the porch. Then I thought maybe sangria was the path of redemtion...aww yeah. i was feelin' pretty nice when casey's dad rolled up and installed ceiling fans. hell yes. we have ceiling fans. that's an important accessory for life without ac. i'm lovin' it. then shawn wanted to go to trees by touliatos which is a nursery/watergarden supply store. it's a really cool place. we were there for awhile and lo and behold i run into juan there. yep, one of my students works there. how cool is that?

on the way home, we were talking about the job shawn's been trying to apply for for a year, and he just heard from naomi why she was quitting. turns out all the people she works with are scary racist types who are really awful, not to mention lazy. figures. it sucks that she's the one who has to leave...it should be the other way around, but it's a state job, and they're pretty much set for life. what can you do?

i was supposed to work tonight because thom was doing his monthly poetry reading. but he didn't promote it very well so no one showed up. yay, after talking to suzy and hanging out with him and steve, i got to go home early and relax...aww yeah.

nobody's fault but mine

2003 May 11

"if i die and my soul be lost...nobody's fault but mine" -Nina Simone

damn, my allergies are still blazing on...some guy walking down the street with some chrysanthemums in a pot that he lifted from someplace was trying to sell them to us...as far as he was concerned, we needed to give mama something for mother's day.

walked around in the alleys in evergreen all morning and went down in the drainage ditch. makes me think about the book i'm reading which is all about water pollution.

later i went and made a guest appearance at my mom's. she's okay but not great. still can't eat anything after the surgery, and it may be awhile. i just chilled over there for awhile before coming back home to a huge dinner casey cooked. drank some dandelion wine which tastes vaguely like a dark dark beer. battled some cockroaches before climbing in bed and talking to cristin on the phone until my voice gave out.

stormy times

2003 May 14

pretty uninspiring day...after nick left, i chilled all day, then went to make sushi. i don't feel like i have my shit together right now. i ended up making tons, so i hope it sells. after that we drank some beers and things just got really good...sorry cristin. man that storm was something, but it robbed me of my sleep. scared denny shitless. can't believe it didn't flood my room.

frogs singing sad songs

2003 May 15

hi bret. thanks for tracking me down. i'm still here. hopefully i'll be there around b'ton for memorial day...we're having a reunion of sorts.

the frogs sound lonely tonight. jessica's taking nick's departure hard. i can understand that, though. hell, he's only been gone a day and i miss him already. i even found myself listening to godspeed in the rain...i was feeling it...riding the south shore west to chicago always left huge holes in my heart and i've loved and burned my way through so many pages in this life, and lost everything...having the reciprocity is good for a change...to love and be loved at the same time is an amazing blessing, and one that i will keep near to my heart. tonight i'm tired. my heart goes out to all the sad souls that sing the blues in the garden under the light of the moon after the rains come. life is full of heartache and trains and rains...

damn

2003 May 15

looking at my stats, geez, who all the fuck reads this shit? that's one view for everyone i will ever meet in my whole life if i get out of the house every day from now til i'm 80. y'all seriously need to get out of the house or sumthin! y'all, my life is boring! okay, maybe not as boring as some folx, but shit, i'm not a rock star. whew. now if only y'all who be reading on this, would just send me $1, i could do some pretty amazing shit. let me know if you want to go there, i sure as hell won't stop you.

but seriously, i wish that everyone out there would just realize their own lives can be fun and interesting and beautiful if they had the courage to follow their dreams. simplify. cut out the bullshit. don't waste another minute on things that don't even matter. now get up from the computer, and start doing something REAL!

May 1-15,2003

Memphis in May job

2003 May 01

I heard about this gig from Julie...basically all the schools in the city do cultural activities in May. Part of this is having them all come to the botanical garden for two weeks in may, and they need people to run the booths. now granted, seeing 500+ hyped up children for 3 hours isn't everyone's cup of tea, but i've done this sort of thing before, and i need the money, so...it's not bad. i have the kind of patience you need to do this sort of thing. i go home and take a nap when i'm done, and do whatever else i'm planning on doing for the day. it pays way better than my other job which is a plus. for the most part, the kids aren't bad...can't always say the same for their teachers and parents though, yikes. the botanical gardens are beautiful...i wish it would quit raining so i could hang out after work and write in my journal. it's such a tranquil setting...once the kids leave at 12pm.

Brian came over and we rode all the way down to target and back. there was a badass dinner waiting when i got home. woo hoo. unfortunately renae and shawn have issues with each other that erupted at the house meeting. part of the problem is that renae's pretty different than the rest of us in a lot of ways, and some people deal with it better than others. the people i live with are probably a lot more judgemental than i am, i would guess.

i only judge people based on how they act, and can usually rise above judging them based on their externalities and other superficial elements. i've learned to never jump to wild conclusions...that girl wearing all the expensive name brand clothes might have actually gotten them at the thriftstore. the guy driving the SUV might have gotten it for free as a hand me down from some relative. That starbucks beverage? i might have scored it for free for all you know...so yeah, my little activistas...beware of making assuptions based on what you see. hell, even a cop might turn out to be pretty cool. don't think you know what's up with someone unless you know them well enough to determine what's going on.

i think we all have the same basic fears of people and things that are different than us...and the only way to get past them is to spend lots of time in new situations where you have to transcend your normal world and deal with new things. having moved in so many different circles i can say that for the most part we are all pretty much the same, we just express ourselves very differently. but there's a surprising degree of commonality between the rich girl, the african muslim refugee, the guy in the wheelchair, the old lady down the street, and the homeless guy who keeps asking me for a dollar. it's just a matter of looking past the surface...okay, enough of my diversity and tolerance lecture for today.

skeeters

2003 May 02

first day of memphis in may and it looks like it's going to rain...typical.

mosquitoes are out too. the herbal bug repellent works only so-so. oh well. i like the way it smells...

after work, i've just been taking it easy. i'll probably swing on over to brians in a minute, get some dinner and go down to see india irie. there's pretty much music up until 11pm...it's outdoors in a park downtown. hopefully it will stay dry.

i think my brother will come back in a week. i'll be quite glad to see him.

pretty low key day. i'm kinda tired. looking forward to just kicking back and listening to music. hopefully without too much mosquito action...river's notorious for them tho'.

Memphis in May and it didn't rain...

2003 May 03

Well, it didn't rain on Friday...We rode our bikes downtown and got there in time to see India Irie which was badass. Then I caught a little bit of Nappy Roots...and decided I liked the CD better so I cruised on over to Wilco. Then went and watched Booker T & The MG's. By then, I was pretty tired, my allergies were kickin' and the cigarettes were getting to me, so we called it a night.

Saturday was also sunny. I didn't wake up until noon either. By the time I got my car picked up and all that, it was nearly 5 pm, so I missed a whole lot of really good bands. So I just waited until Brian got off work and we parked by the police station, got toasty and barely caught RatDog. Went to eat dinner and missed Ko Ko Taylor, Susan Tedeschi

and the Gap Band. So with the time that was left, we caught Ben Harper. I actually missed Willie Nelson because i was starting to feel a bit overwhelmed by the crowds, so we hit the Blues Tent and caught the end of Richard Johnston. But what I was really interested in was Pinetop. And he didn't let me down...this time he had a whole backing band and really put it on...

Sunday, amazingly enough I didn't get out of the house until almost 3 pm so I missed Blind Mississippi Morris which is a shame because he's a real pleasure to watch. We caught Billy Lee Riley who was pretty cool...I could see him rockin' out back in the day...best band i saw all day though was Nickel Creek...damn they were good. It rained in spurts but not much, so I still enjoyed the experience. I watched some of the North Mississippi All Stars set until I realized there was some serious rain coming our way, and decided to call it a night.

Nick's back

2003 May 05

i came home this morning and the IDSE kids from Champaign Urbana were at my house. apparently they were passing through the area. i remember meeting them at Lawrence in the permaculture workshop that got rained out. they cooked us breakfast and headed out around mid afternoon.

at some point in the afternoon i was in the kitchen when nick rolled up. i had a feeling this morning when i passed the trainyard we'd be seeing him before the day was out.

turns out he had to hitchhike to get here, they got laid up in Florence, Alabama and somehow managed to get here in only a couple of rides...maybe his puppy is softening up his image.

we had a wild storm roll up this evening...real wild. kept me up all night so I didn't get much in the way of sleep. not helpful.

Sleep is the word

2003 May 06

Since I hardly slept at all last night, i was not feeling so hot this morning. I didn't have too many problems in class though, fortunately. David did real well this morning...last week was kind of hard for him, but today his word recognition was much better. Everyone was so into the story they made me go through 3 more chapters...It sounds like Beverly is about to graduate from transitional living to case management. I'm glad to be a part of it all somehow.

After class, I went right back to bed...it's not like I had any pressing issues to deal with on a tuesday.

I didn't do a whole lot today. Just one of those kinda days, I guess. The big push for today was harvesting greens, and really that's about it.

I made sushi but was limited by the quantity of nori so I only made a few cases. We finished in record time, and the evening was still young...

2003 May 08

today was one of those days you know you might as well just stay home...6 am...i wake up to a huge cockroach crawling on my arm. 8 am. pick wida and mansoor, go to the hospital. 9 am i didn't know where lebonheur was...then there was nowhere to park. 9:30 what a waste of time. they didn't have any record of the appointment. 10 am. i took mansoor over to headstart and went to work.

3:00 picked him up to go get his wic shots, 3:45 discover that the wic office closes at 3:30.

4:00 try to go to kroger, wida's ebt card is already ringing up insuficient funds, it's only the first week of the month...i have the all the wic stuff and hand them the voucher after the cashier rings up everything. they had to void everything...the cashiers are rolling their eyes, i just wanted to kick somebody. i figured i'd cut my losses, and go home, and stay there...

so much for slackin'

2003 May 10

I had the beautiful idea of having a slacker saturday. after a whole week of bustin' my ass, i figured it was time for one of those kinda days where you just sit around the house, and do a whole lot of not much.

oops, forgot i was supposed to be a parade marshall in the fuerza latina unida march. oh well, so much for sleeping in...so i went on out to mcfarland. there were tons of people which was awesome. lots of media there too, which is so weird...they never cover any of "our" events...i'm guessing somehow that maybe the interest on their part has to do with sensationalism..."oh look what those uppity minorities are up to now". yep, i'm cynical, can't you tell.

we walked about two miles. it was pretty hot...it has been for the past couple of days here. nothing much happened. one thing i noticed was that since we were in east memphis, it's like a totally different world. on saturday mornings, everyone stays inside in east memphis and it's real quiet. pretty inconceivable in my neighborhood, where on a saturday morning, all the kids would be out on their way to the park to play basketball, or riding bikes, and people would be out on their porches talking and men would be mowing lawns and washing cars...so in otherwords, it would never be THAT quiet unless everyone died the night before.

Once the march was over, I helped drive some people back, then went home and crashed out on the porch. Then I thought maybe sangria was the path of redemtion...aww yeah. i was feelin' pretty nice when casey's dad rolled up and installed ceiling fans. hell yes. we have ceiling fans. that's an important accessory for life without ac. i'm lovin' it. then shawn wanted to go to trees by touliatos which is a nursery/watergarden supply store. it's a really cool place. we were there for awhile and lo and behold i run into juan there. yep, one of my students works there. how cool is that?

on the way home, we were talking about the job shawn's been trying to apply for for a year, and he just heard from naomi why she was quitting. turns out all the people she works with are scary racist types who are really awful, not to mention lazy. figures. it sucks that she's the one who has to leave...it should be the other way around, but it's a state job, and they're pretty much set for life. what can you do?

i was supposed to work tonight because thom was doing his monthly poetry reading. but he didn't promote it very well so no one showed up. yay, after talking to suzy and hanging out with him and steve, i got to go home early and relax...aww yeah.

nobody's fault but mine

2003 May 11

"if i die and my soul be lost...nobody's fault but mine" -Nina Simone

damn, my allergies are still blazing on...some guy walking down the street with some chrysanthemums in a pot that he lifted from someplace was trying to sell them to us...as far as he was concerned, we needed to give mama something for mother's day.

walked around in the alleys in evergreen all morning and went down in the drainage ditch. makes me think about the book i'm reading which is all about water pollution.

later i went and made a guest appearance at my mom's. she's okay but not great. still can't eat anything after the surgery, and it may be awhile. i just chilled over there for awhile before coming back home to a huge dinner casey cooked. drank some dandelion wine which tastes vaguely like a dark dark beer. battled some cockroaches before climbing in bed and talking to cristin on the phone until my voice gave out.

stormy times

2003 May 14

pretty uninspiring day...after nick left, i chilled all day, then went to make sushi. i don't feel like i have my shit together right now. i ended up making tons, so i hope it sells. after that we drank some beers and things just got really good...sorry cristin. man that storm was something, but it robbed me of my sleep. scared denny shitless. can't believe it didn't flood my room.

frogs singing sad songs

2003 May 15

hi bret. thanks for tracking me down. i'm still here. hopefully i'll be there around b'ton for memorial day...we're having a reunion of sorts.

the frogs sound lonely tonight. jessica's taking nick's departure hard. i can understand that, though. hell, he's only been gone a day and i miss him already. i even found myself listening to godspeed in the rain...i was feeling it...riding the south shore west to chicago always left huge holes in my heart and i've loved and burned my way through so many pages in this life, and lost everything...having the reciprocity is good for a change...to love and be loved at the same time is an amazing blessing, and one that i will keep near to my heart. tonight i'm tired. my heart goes out to all the sad souls that sing the blues in the garden under the light of the moon after the rains come. life is full of heartache and trains and rains...

damn

2003 May 15

looking at my stats, geez, who all the fuck reads this shit? that's one view for everyone i will ever meet in my whole life if i get out of the house every day from now til i'm 80. y'all seriously need to get out of the house or sumthin! y'all, my life is boring! okay, maybe not as boring as some folx, but shit, i'm not a rock star. whew. now if only y'all who be reading on this, would just send me $1, i could do some pretty amazing shit. let me know if you want to go there, i sure as hell won't stop you.

but seriously, i wish that everyone out there would just realize their own lives can be fun and interesting and beautiful if they had the courage to follow their dreams. simplify. cut out the bullshit. don't waste another minute on things that don't even matter. now get up from the computer, and start doing something REAL!