The First Weeks

I had gotten into a really easy and comfortable routine with my toddler. I had totally forgotten how utterly a newborn baby completely takes over your life. You won't get to drink a hot cup of tea for at least two months. All your meals will go cold before you can eat them. You won't be bothered that you are covered in spitup, pee, and breastmilk. Leaving the house is sooo difficult. I'm lucky if I can manage to get dressed and brush my teeth. I’m so sleep deprived…Sleeping in the hospital is nearly impossible. Riley slept a whole lot on the first couple of days, but after that turned into quite a night owl. Unlike his brother, he wakes up every three hours around the clock. Ouch. In the middle of the night, while I sit here listening to the clock tick, and the trains pass, I have to remind myself that he won’t be a baby forever, and I will be able to sleep again someday. The difference is, this time I believe it. They say keeping a baby up more during the day helps them sleep better at night…no idea if it’s true, but with a three-year-old making noise all day, it’s worth a try. On the other hand, this kid can sleep through almost any noise… If one more person tells me to,"Sleep when your baby sleeps,” I’m going to shoot them. The only time my baby sleeps is when the three-year-old is awake. Even with a second baby, you find yourself checking to make sure they are still breathing. I forgot how much time you spend feeding a baby. And how long it takes. But this time, I have a much better system or getting it done with a minimum of stress. I have to—since I still have to do stuff for the toddler in my life too. This baby doesn’t cry that much, which is fantastic. When he was born early, I assumed he would be fussier than average, but so far he hardly cries at all (unless he’s hungry, uncomfortable, or getting a diaper change). Sometimes the baby needs 3 changes of clothes a day. Sometimes, I do. Needless to say, this generates a lot of laundry. Oddly enough, I can get some housework done—I have these 5 or 10 minute windows of time where nobody needs me that much, and can get at least one thing done. A shower, not so much. I had forgotten how difficult breastfeeding can be in the beginning. I have an iPad and it’s a great way to get a lot of reading done in the middle of the night. In the middle of the night, I’ve learned to let go, and enjoy the pleasure of holding my son. I know that these days of sitting around with a little warm body to cuddle with are going to be really short. I love to watch him sleep, gaze at his funny little face, smell him and kiss him on his fuzzy little head. Their newborn features don't last long. And neither does this degree of need for bodily contact.