go where i'm not going

maybe i'm a glutton for punishment--
i don't know why i torture myself by going to these things, when i should know better.
"it's good to know what you're getting into", they say all the time.
sitting in a room full of people, the chosen ones, the bright shining faces of the future...
well i'm sitting in the dark--
i wish i could be you--and not have these fears and doubts,
the cares that i would not have, were i not myself,
and i would not have to ask for the future, at the expense of the present,
but i sit in the dark, listening to you make your big plans,
and wonder when my time will ever come.