use yer imagination

I work for UPS--during christmas season. I've been busier than a one-legged man at a shit-kickin' contest. Use your imagination...

In case anyone's interested here's my helpful advice for handy holiday shipping:

1. Don't procrastinate. Procrastination is expensive. If you insist on procrastinating, wait until after the madness subsides and send it late. Most people don't mind getting stuff after the holidays anyway.

2. Smaller and lighter is cheaper. Don't use some big ol' box because you got it free outta some dumpster somewhere. If you got extra space, cut it down or something. That free box could put you into oversize 2 or something and add $20 to the price if you aren't careful.

3. Better yet, send money or buy gift cards. Corporate would hate me for saying that, but you know, most people would probably prefer to pick out their own stuff, and if nothing else, at least you aren't blowing tons of money on shipping. Most stuff costs between $10-20 to ship, you could definitely find something better to do with all that money, I'm sure. If you really want to send "stuff" buy it online and take advantage of the company's corporate rate. Sure you think you'll save money doing it yourself, I know we all fall prey to such delusions. But chances are they are gonna get a way better deal on their volume account than you will.

4. If you aren't doing christmas shipping, do yourself a favor and stay outta the fray, and come during off peak hours. Who wants to try to do standard business stuff in with 50 suburban housewives shipping christmas stuff?

5. Time is money. It is so worth not having to do certain things yourself, believe me.

6. If you are serious about sending tons of stuff, make sure you label everything very carefully. You never know what may happen when it leaves your custody....and neither will we if it's an
unlabelled box. At a bare minimum, put your return address on it. You'll thank me later.

7. Don't send huge things anywhere. Especially not for the holidays. It's seldom if ever worth doing. Most people live within 10 miles of a store that probably carries the very item you are sending, and can successfully acquire that same item themselves without you investing a hundred dollars in shipping it. (see note about giftcards) There's a good reason why corporations hire tractor-trailers to haul this stuff around, and frankly it's called freight for a reason.

Hmm, most of this information sounds eeriely similar to my normal shipping tips...oh yeah! That's right, this is good advice all the time. It's just that people take total leave of their senses, and find themselves in situations where they're spending $65 to send a box of cookies to New Jersey. Guess what? Relax. People get so worked up about christmast...breathe...it'll be okay. Seriously, most people are busy and no one will hold it against you. Nobody minds as much as you think. Not making the ground cutoff this year? Maybe you should just send a card. It's all good.