woah, crazy time

it was looking like a fairly typical day...the midafternoon lull had arrived and i was quietly working on the mundane business of processing some PSO's when lo and behold, right outside the window, the air is rushing out of someone's tires...no wait, there's a guy bent down over the tire, and oh look he's doing it again. i couldn't believe it.

some crazy fool is popping tires right in front of me. then he stands up and i can see for the first time who it is...

the homeless guy who's always digging around in our trashcan. holy shite!

we have a fair number of homeless regulars that hang around this shopping center. most of them need a date with some soap and water and have a solid relationship with bags full of cans, but overall are relatively innocuous, but this guy stands out. i see him every day, almost without fail. he's got really wild hair and a bald spot on top of his head. you can see him digging in the trash on most days, consuming leftover drinks and used cigarettes. gross but predictable enough. then you'll see him over in the corner talking to himself. he has an almost sixth sense and magically shows up every time my coworker is out on a smoke break. out of the 4 guys i see all the time, he's definitely the most sketchy.

so here he is wielding a knife of significant size, vigourously popping the tires of every car in the parking lot in broad daylight. yelling at him does not deter him in the least. if anything he works more efficiently, popping two tires on each vehicle all the way down from bally's to albertsons, approximately 50 cars or so until a mob forms and chases him down to the smoking corner by albertson's.

eventually the police came and took him away. i'm sure he will not be missed by any of the 50 or so people who are now on a first name basis with les schwab. i'm sure the only people sending him thank you cards are towing truck drivers.

what started the whole thing was our friend with the shopping cart was confronted by management over at albertson's because he was amourously harrasing a female employee. (hey ladies, he's a real catch, if you know what i mean). apparently he didn't take the rejection too well and went apeshit on everyone's tires. i guess it is a small comfort that at least he didn't hurt anyone.

in such a small suburban community, this incident will no doubt be rehashed for at least a week if not indefinitely, after all not much happens out there. it made the news, i'm told, and probably will do a lot to make the lives of the other homeless people in the area less comfortable. i particularly worry about people harrassing john because people who weren't there are still asking me if it was john who caused all this to-do. i'm happy to clear up this misunderstanding, but not everyone will ask first...