15 weeks and starting to look it...

This is week 15, and I'm definitely starting to look pregnant.

I've got a little bit of belly now, which at first alarmed me a bit (are you supposed to show this much, this early?) but looking at pictures of other people on the internet, I guess I look pretty typical. If I wear baggy t-shirts I can still hide it, but with a lot of my regular clothes, it's much more noticeable. I'm trying to land a new job, so I'm not thrilled that it's gonna be harder to hide my condition, but that's life.

Now that I'm into the second trimester, I'm feeling better than I did during the first trimester. Most days I don't need a nap anymore, although going to bed early most nights still sounds rather attractive. I also rarely have all the indigestion and food aversions that I had to deal with in the first trimester. This would be a great time to be working in a full-time job (no nausea, not super lethargic), but unfortunately I don't have any way to take advantage of it. My stamina still isn't terribly high though, and climbing stairs is downright painful (it feels like someone's cranked up the gravity setting several notches). I went on a bike ride the other day and managed alright, but I definitely can't do those 20+ mile rides that I used to enjoy any more without getting tired and totally out of breath.

According to this book I'm reading, I should start feeling some movement in a week or so. I'm not sure that I haven't already...I have all kinds of funny little sensations that could be just about anything.

Lately I've been feeling very reclusive and homebody-ish. Most of the time, I could be perfectly happily staying inside all day long and doing absolutely nothing. You could say I'm having some very strong procrastination urges, and without the structure of the normal school year, I usually just give into them. Part of the problem, I'm sure is the fact that it's been a really bizarre summer with 60 degree weather for the past week, and as cloudy as it normally is during the spring and fall. Since I am no doubt part-reptilian, I don't find this sort of weather very motivating to go outdoors in. Seriously, last night, I made myself some hot chocolate...this is NOT normal.

In general things are okay. Brian's situation is still totally up in the air, so that makes it hard to think about the future much. Overall, I just try to be happy that we have each other, that I feel well, and things seem to be fine in the gestation department. Can't bother thinking much beyond the contingencies of the moment because the future is extremely uncertain. This is a good time for zen-like states of mind, and just letting things "be". The only other alternative is to live in a state of panic, which is not my style anyway.