i'm only happy when it rains

whew, summer's almost over. steven says that the rain's coming soon according to the weatherman. all i know is the moon's not full, but everyone's acting ultra crank-deluxe today, which makes me think that the city is collectively experiencing "end of summer angst". people are dusting off their cloud day faces, and grouchy rainy day attitudes.

not me. i'm fully aware that this weather is fabulous, and do appreciate being dry. while i won't claim to love the rain, i have already come to peace after working outdoors in all manifestations of weather and climate.

one thing about clear sunny days is that i'm not well grounded when the weather's like this. at least when it's cloudy i feel more grounded, reflective and in touch with reality.
i tend to display my more socially unacceptable piscean tendencies when i'm not well grounded. as much as i enjoy my alternate realities and the quirky insights they bring me, i'm sure everyone else finds them completely and utterly annoying. there just isn't much tolerance in this world for people who aren't firmly grounded in ordinary reality, so i can't really expect to get away with it more than once in awhile. which is tragic in a way. i'd rather indulge my more whimsical mystical abstract side, something i think that makes me unique. unfortunately, there isn't much call for these attributes in the modern world of linear reality. and if i indulge in it too often, i might end up being labelled "insane" by somebody.

looking over my shoulder, i can see smokey the cat, who looks really cute laying in a sunspot at the foot of the stairs. for someone who has been incredibly naughty for the past day or so, she looks really sweet and innocent right now. i'm sure it won't last much longer.

brian says everyone has been really mean to him today. normally i would just attribute some of it to his sensitive nature, but what kind of evil trolls is he working with? they obviously lack a sense of humor. i find his sense of humor amusing, but i have ample proof that i'm not the only one. i can put up with anything--all sorts of sociopaths really--but people who have no sense of humor scare me. not only do i feel sorry for them for missing out on one of the greatest joys life has to offer, but also i wonder how they cope with the absurdities of life?

the garden has a population of rats that i've always heard but never seen. you hear them scurrying away when you open the gate, and you hear them over in the bushes if you stand still quietly, but today i actually had one run across my foot! (good thing i was wearing shoes!)

portland appears to have more rats than any city i have ever been to, except possibly new york. i don't know why this is. curiously the only wildlife we have are rats, crows, pigeons and bluejays. i'm sure there's some kind of meaning to this, but i don't know what it is. the pigeons i don't mind. a lot of people think of them as rats with wings. i guess maybe my respect for the pigeons is based somewhat on the premise that i don't find rats all that disturbing (given that they aren't in the house, mind you). i think of pigeons as having a lot of desirable traits that should be emulated...they're resourceful, they don't expend a lot of unecessary energy (flying away only when they really need to), they live in groups and come in many different colors, they make a pleasant cooing sound (unlike the discordant shrieks of the blue jays), and as far as i can tell, harm no one (unlike blue jays which raid other birds nests and eat the baby birds, eww). maybe i'm weird (always a possibility) but i like them in a strange sort of way.

i found a copy of nappy roots in the library today. how exciting. my cd was stolen years ago when the crackhead broke into my car...it'll be nice to have some dirty south back in my life. kinda appropriate after a day riding past COGIC churches, chicken joints, and other familar southern institutions. it's nice that these things are always with me, proving once again, you can take the girl out da south, but you can't take the south out da girl.

the thing that sucks about working full time is that you often don't have time to eat very healthfully, as steven observed this morning. i remember that phenomenon well. i've grappled with it all of my adult life. i have discovered that it is worth every effort to attempt to keep up a routine of eating healthfully even when you are very busy. some strategies i've developed to deal with this are:

1. always bring your lunch/meal to work whenever humanly possible. not eating out all the time is a surefire way to keep on the right track. not only is it more expensive, but restaraunts stay in business because they sell food that tastes really good. the way they make their food taste really really good usually involves using larger amount of saturated fats and things like msg than any normal person would ever use in a home setting.

2. when you do cook, make twice as much (or more) than what you really need. take the leftovers to work for lunch, or freeze a portion or two for times when you are really desperate for food.

3. if you bring decent water to work with you in a convenient bottle, chances are you'll drink it...a lot more than you would otherwise. when you are not dehydrated you feel better. if you aren't thirsty, you will be less tempted to buy sodas, which of course are very bad for you. and when you get sick of water, buy a largish bottle of juice (the real stuff, not the food coloring and sugar water) and drink that.

4. if you normally don't have time for actual meals on your work breaks, bring snacks that you can eat while working, but things that are reasonably healthy...not crap like potato chips or candy bars. my personal favorites are trail mix and granola bars, but veggies and fruits work well too.

i used to do all these things while working in a variety of white collar and blue collar jobs. my coworkers always thought i was a little crazy for putting that much effort into bringing home cooked food to work---but
A. i got more mileage out of my breaks because i didn't have to wait around for food to be served. i didn't have to drive anywhere, wait in line, etc. all i had to do is dig it out and eat it.
B. i saved quite a bit of money...even the cheapest fast food is no match for the kind of economic leverage you gain by cooking at home.
C. nothing makes you feel more smug than being the only person on the production line who has a thermos of gourmet coffee, a really nice sandwich, or something like lasagne for lunch. some of my more ordinary lunches could have passed for swank picnics.

i've been doing this for a really long time and it has worked very well for me.