recycled lines, recycled moves

Working with kids is a lot like working with dogs. That sounds horrible doesn't it? What I mean, though, is that for those of us who happen to have both kids and dogs in our lives, you notice that the same set of skills comes into play. One thing I've noticed is that I use a lot of the same lines at home with my dog that I use all day long at school when working with teenagers. I had a good discussion the other day about how similar working with kids is to working with dogs, so I thought it would be a good (albeit controversial) topics to write about. Here's a few examples for what I mean by "recycled lines":

"What are we doing right now...What should you being doing right now?" (off-task student, dog isn't following directions.)

"Have a seat." (self-evident)

"It's not time for X yet." (student doing wrong thing at wrong time, dog thinks it's time for something to happen (but it's not).)

"Nice try!" (student is caught doing something inappropriate, dog is caught trying to get away with something)

"You don't have to like it, but you do have to do it." (students complain when asked to do something, dog looks at me like I'm crazy when asked to do something she clearly does not want to do)

"Oops, let's try that again." (student makes a mistake/dog makes a mistake)

At their most basic, these are just basic prompts--prompts to perform a task, to get back on task, or to end futile acts of pointless resistance to a reasonable adult request (something teenagers are especially good at).

Which brings us to my next topic--recycled moves. Working with dogs and working with kids can be quite similar in many ways. What I don't mean, by the way, is that you should invest in a shock collar or a leash to use on a recalcitrant student (even though, admittedly, there are days where that can be very tempting--and you do occasionally see new items where a frustrated parent has resorted to this). What it DOES mean, is that a lot of the same "moves" that work well with children, also are effective with dogs...and vice versa.

Consider the following:

One of the most common reasons people seek training (beyond basic obedience) for their dogs, is because they are dealing with aggressive/dominance issues. So let's take a look at some of the most commonly used, but least effective techniques that people use to "curb" their pet's aggression: (these are all aversive techniques)

Ostensible Goal: to reduce or eliminate dog's unwanted dominant or aggressive behaviors

-Hitting or kicking the dog
-Yelling at/Growling at the dog
-Forcing the dog to release an item from its mouth
-“Alpha roll” (forcing the dog onto its back and holding it down)
-“Dominance down” (forcing the dog onto its side)
-Grabbing the jowls or scruff
-Staring the dog down
-Spraying the dog with water
-Yelling “no”
-Forced aversive stimulus (forcibly exposing the dog to an unpleasant stimulus)

Now, humor me for just for a moment, and let's go apply this to a parenting or teaching context:

Goal: To reduce or eliminate acting out, or gain compliance from an out-of-control child

-Hitting or kicking the child (some would add spanking to this list)
-Yelling at the child
-Forcing the child to relinquish an object
-Forcing child into a restraining position (*note there are times when this is appropriate)
-Grabbing child forcibly by arms, legs, or hair
-Staring the child down
-Spraying the child with water
-Yelling “no”
-Forced aversive stimulus (forcibly exposing the child to an unpleasant stimulus)

A good test to use when evaluating a technique is to ask yourself if you would use it on your child. As you can clearly see, most of these "techniques" are either clearly abusive in nature, or at least would be considered by reasonable people as overly-aggressive, strong-arm tactics that would rarely if ever be appropriate for daily training, disciplinary, or teaching situations (after all, parenting is basically a type of teaching that occurs in the home). The problem with some of them is that they are just downright ineffective--they don't actually "teach", they merely inspire fear--but for how long? For some strange reason, lots of people think it is okay to use these types of techniques on dogs, but if you insert the word "child" for dog, you can easily see how inappropriate most of them really are. At best, a few of these "techniques" do have their place--for extreme situations only!

There are many different types of positive (non-aversive) methods of discipline out there. Truth be told, the majority of them work just as well with dogs as they do with kids because they're not really "techniques" per se, but rather philosophical orientations towards teaching behavior in the context of relationships.

(Note that I am not referring to "permissive" philosophies, where the "solution" is to simply allow the child or dog to have and do whatever it desires in order to avoid confrontation. I am also not talking about people who treat their dogs like pampered "babies"--that's not discipline, but rather a total lack of it.)

The premise behind most positive discipline schools of thought is that certain kinds of behavior are appropriate in certain contexts, and the goal is to teach the child (or dog) how to display and perform those behaviors more independently with consistent (and ultimately) loving guidance. These non-aversive methods of discipline result in much lower need for interventions/and greatly reduced incidences of acting out in students. They also notably reduce the frequency of aggressive behaviors in dogs. Seriously.

Let's talk for a moment about what this looks like when you're training dogs:

-Using treats or rewards to train the dog to perform certain desired behaviors
-Training the dog to sit or lay down for everything it wants
-Rewarding the dog for eye contact
-Food exchange for an item in its mouth instead of forcing the item out
-Rewarding the dog for “watch me”
-"Breaking" bad habits by removing the reward for the undesired behavior (For example, a dog that jumps up on people for attention--targets turn around or leave the room whenever the dog jumps up so that jumping up on people is no longer rewarding for the dog).

Now let's move this to a teaching/parenting context:

-Using incentives or rewards to encourage child to perform certain task (note this should not be confused with bribing--it's a much more subtle art)
-Child must do the thing that "needs to be done" before getting to do a preferred activity. (The First-Then Principle: for example homework first, then videogames).
-Rewarding the child for following directions/staying focused/on-task.
-Redirection: exchanging an item you don't want the child to have for an item that is more appropriate. (Works with actions/behaviors too...instead of doing X, let's do Y)
-Eliminating inappropriate behaviors by removing the payoff/reward for the undesired behavior (An extremely simple example: Child whines and complains whenever asked to do something. Adult ignores whining and complaining and child doesn't get what he or she wants. Child realizes that whining and complaining doesn't achieve desired results--whining and complaining behavior gradually disappear because there is no longer any payoff.)

(* note that since children are much more emotionally and cognitively complex creatures than dogs, the use of Classical Behaviorism principles like "rewarding" or "extinction" techniques is a much more complex and subtle art that requires continuous skill and refinement and ingenuity. Classical behaviorist techniques, while highly effective with dogs, are sometimes overly simplistic in that they cannot always be easily applied to situations involving human behavior because human behavior involves the interaction of many more variables.)

So what about extreme cases? Whether you're working with emotionally disturbed children, or severely abused dogs, these principles still apply.

1. Start small: use incentives or rewards for each small success. Motivation theory states that too much of this sort of thing can actually be damaging in the long run (too much extrinsic motivation kills intrinsic motivation), but they're talking about average populations. When you're working with absolute beginners (who haven't experienced much if any success), you really should start with lots of praise and incentives. Later you fade out the treats/rewards when it's clear they are no longer needed.

2. No Free Lunch: One of the best techniques to teach a desired behavior is to reinforce the idea that NOTHING happens until the behavior is learned and displayed appropriately.
For example, in the case of a dog that pulls on walks, walking simply doesn't happen unless the dog stops pulling. If the dog starts pulling again, you simply stop walking--as many times as necessary to drive the message home. Eventually the dog realizes that pulling=no walking. A student example would be lining up to go to lunch. If students aren't doing it right, everyone sits back down and you do it again--as many times as it takes for them to get it right. This correlates with "Anything worth doing at all is worth doing RIGHT."

3. First-Then: Doing thing that "needs to be done" ALWAYS comes before the preferred activity.
With a dog this could look like "First bath, Then treat"; or "First--I lay down quietly, Then I get to be greeted/petted by the visitors"; or "First--I sit, then I get to eat". With students, it looks more like "First math, Then computer", or "First I clean up my table, Then the teacher dismisses me to go to recess", and so on. This is when and where "deferred gratification" is taught.

4. Redirection/Substitution: This is a way of replacing "NO!" and "Don't" with "Let's do X, instead of Y". While "No" and "Don't" are sometimes needed, they are probably the two most frequently overused words in the English language. Choice theory states that it's usually more effective to provide a choice than issue an ultimatum. "No" and "Don't" communicate that "You're in trouble, buster!" but they don't really teach alternative/better behaviors.

A dog example: The dog is carrying one of your belongings (something you definitely don't want the dog to have) in its mouth. You can either run after the dog screaming "No! No! Give it back!" meanwhile desperately tugging on the item--assuming you can catch the dog ("Ooh, a fun new keep-away game", the dog thinks)...OR you can pick up one of the dog's favorite toys, and say "Go fetch". Usually what will happen is that if the object you choose is highly motivating, the dog will immediately drop whatever is in its mouth and go after the preferred object.

With kids: Two young children are fighting over a toy. You redirect them to other toys, or a new activity entirely. Example two: a group of high school students argue about who gets to use the computer...you can either declare nobody gets to use it (removing reward), setting time limits (use of a timer), or by redirection (who wants to play UNO attack?)

5. Eliminating inappropriate behaviors by removing the payoff/reward for the undesired behavior:

Dogs: some dogs inappropriately seek attention through "demanding" behaviors--excessive whining, repeatedly climbing up in your lap, jumping, etc. A simple way to deal with that is when the dog starts demanding your attention, you become "boring" by ignoring the dog, physically turning away, even removing the dog from the room if need be. Every time. (At the same time, you need to follow up by teaching them when it's okay). Eventually they realize that there's no payoff to these "demanding" behaviors and they diminish.

With kids: Students refuse to clean up after activities, or group projects, leaving messes in the classroom for the teacher to clean up (parents-substitute "toys" here). Teacher can either tell students that in the future, items left out will disappear (for a period of time), or if students are unable to clean up after activities, the activities portion will be replaced with less exciting alternatives like more seatwork. Students learn that they are responsible for cleaning up after themselves.

Here are some very basic examples of how positive discipline techniques work in real-life scenarios. The key thing to keep in mind, is that positive discipline (or training) still requires you to be assertive (not aggressive!) for these moves to work. You have to believe in your own authority/role/status/power to expect compliance--whether you're working with kids or dogs. If you are unsure as to whether or not you have the right to expect children (or dogs) to follow your instructions, these techniques WILL NOT WORK. You have to be absolutely confident in your role (I'm the adult/leader/teacher who is in charge here) and believe that you have the right to expect your child/dog/student to follow your directions. This is not the same thing as being aggressive (do what I say or I'll hurt/punish you), or being authoritarian (I'm in charge here, do what I say or else), but rather just being absolutely certain about your responsibility to teach another person (or dog) how to be a functional member of a group.