you're the best sub ever

"You're the best sub ever," the girl with the fading pink hair said as I came around the corner to the door of a very-familiar classroom at a very familiar school.

"Wow, thanks! That's the nicest thing anyone's said to me all week," I told her.

And will I ever get tired of hearing that? Probably not. It's the highest compliment you can get as a sub--kids who are happy to see you. I love working at this school, so I do it on a pretty regular basis. It's kind of a standing gig I have, and part of a project I've kind of created for myself this year (project EBD-getting more practice working with "tough cases".

One of the reasons why I signed on to do classified jobs this year (even though I'm certified) is that the range of potential assignments vastly exceeds what's available to certified folks. (Plus, there aren't enough certified jobs to go around right now anyhow). Classified positions vary way more than most certified jobs, and often involve multiple grade levels, multiple subjects, and multiple settings, all in the same day. And that's before you even factor any Special Ed considerations into the mix. So aside from increasing my pool of possible job prospects exponentially, it also add some variety to what can occassionally feel like glorified crowd control. And in terms of getting a broad exposure to everything that happens in the world of education, you could hardly to better.

How does all of this relate to what I'd like to be doing (teaching ESL)? Well, there's quite a few paraeducators who work intensively with ELLs so I get to do this sometimes. Other times, I get to work in mainstream classrooms where there just happens to be a lot of ELLs. In fact, it's pretty rare to work in a classroom (mainstream or SPED) where there aren't at least a few ELLs. But more important than all the days I spend working exclusively with ELLs on a sporadic basis, I get to see the entire picture of what these guys are expected to be able to do to function in school. I can see where the language barriers create problems in math, science, and even electives. I know what happens (and in what order) in most of the secondary grades. I have a pretty good idea what kind of language support needs to be happening in ESL support classes to make the time spent in mainstream classes more productive. I can't imagine another way of gaining this much information about the workings of a school.

And incidentally, project EBD is starting to show some payoffs as well. As I had always suspected, part of the secret to working with kids with EBDs is knowing which battles are worth fighting, part of it is being consistent and stable, part of it is being clear and direct, and part of it is cultivating a relationship that's strong enough to survive all the little "tests" these kids need to give you. The last part is the most encouraging--I'm pretty good at connecting with kids and now I'm starting to see proof of that--the compliments are rolling in.

As much as we wish all kids came to school ready to learn, the fact is that they don't. Kids with EBDs really have a tough time in school because they're not as good at regulating themselves as the rest of us. One thing I've noticed is that people who aren't successful at working with "tough cases" usually don't understand that part of the problem is the assumption that the kids know what to do and can do it consistently on their own.

Another thing you don't ever want to do is allow yourself to caught up in a power struggle with an adolescent (with or without an EBD). Does this mean that you should ignore stuff and allow students to get away with things? No way. But when you encounter resistance from a student, you don't have to get sucked into an escalating conflict. As the old saying goes, it takes two to argue. If you refuse to play the game, that goes a long way toward solving the problem.

I used to freeze up in these kind of situations. I knew it wasn't wise to escalate the situation into a full-blown conflict (and put a kid in a situation where he or she needed to save face), but I would get stuck. Now I can usually stay on top of the situation by doing a couple of really simple things.

One is to be really clear and direct with your instructions, and expectations. You should be doing this with kids anyway, since like all other people, they need explicit instructions. This is even more critical when working with kids who have EBDs. You need to give clear directions, clear instructions, and communicate clear behavioral expectations (because many won't be successful without this piece of the puzzle being made explicit). Most of us know that "Now we're taking a quiz" means everyone (including me) is going to be working quietly for a few minutes. We will be working by ourselves without talking to others and getting up is probably not a good idea, but kids with EBDs will need to hear the behavioral expectations too. When I'm teaching, I often write these down on a list and go over them when I'm giving directions for the activity itself. Often I will remind a kid who's starting to get off-task what needs to be happening (right now we're working on X and that's what you should be doing also). Sometimes that's all it takes.

Another one, that's good for outbursts and other disruptive off-task behavior during academic work is to ask them if they're having a problem ("How's it going, do you need help getting started with it?"). I've noticed that a lot of times, kids that are disruptive saboteurs during independent work times are really just not good at asking for help when they need it. If I see a pattern with it, I usually pull them aside to have a chat about more effective ways to ask for help. If you combine the two strategies, it can be really powerful, and the same kids that usually disrupt independent work times end up doing a better job at staying on task, and asking for help appropriately (so that they no longer disrupt the whole class, and have fewer frustration episodes around independent work).

Another one is what I call "the way things are", and I use it with kids who aren't doing the right thing at the right time. "You can use the computer when you are finished with your science homework". I use a lot of redirection in minor conflict situations, and that usually gets the job done. In major conflict situations where things have escalated to the point where the kid is visibly frustrated, I usually tell them to take a 5-minute break to calm down, then we'll talk about the situation, what needs to happen, and move on.

Last, but hardly least is the power of choice. Usually if a kid gets hung up on one thing (math), you can suggest a menu of choices ("Why don't you go work on current events or your daily journal for awhile and come back to this?"). In a disciplinary context, you can say something like, "You can choose to stop talking to so-and-so and go back to your seat, or you can choose to spend recess with me today."

An important part of working with kids with EBD (and all kids really) is being REALLY consistent. If you have a rule, you have to be willing to enforce it. If you have a consequence for something, you have to follow through EVERY SINGLE TIME. You have to mean what you say. If you are inconsistent on any point, you just invite testing, debates, and "negotiation" attempts from the kids. Sadly most of these kids are better at debating than you are--especially kids that are ODD. They know that adults often don't mean what they say and can be manipulated and they WILL do it with you.

Routines are also pretty important. These kids need the safety and stability of school routines more than anyone because for most, school is the safest and most predictable place in their lives. They rarely get consistency and predictability at home, and for many "home" is either illusive, unsafe, or may be downright scary. With an EBD population, you often have kids who have been abused or traumatized, many are currently in the foster care system, a fair number are institutionalized (living in group homes), and more than a few who are homeless or semi-homeless. At least half seem to come from a dysfunctional home environment. At the secondary level, many are drug-involved or gang-involved. These kids above all else need something stable and predictable in their lives and for many, school is pretty much IT. The more structure and routine you can provide, the better these kids will be able to thrive in a school environment. You tend to notice that kids with EBDs view school as something of a refuge. Whatever stability and consistency you are able to provide will yield profound dividends in the classroom.

To work with the really tough cases, you have to be "good at kids"--REALLY good at connecting with kids. A crucial part of working with an EBD population is cultivating a relationship that's strong enough to survive a lot of challenging behavior and "attitude". Because your students aren't coming to you with a solid foundation of success in the social skills arena means the relationship will be a little one-sided in the beginning. You'll be the one putting out all the olive branches for awhile, and you need to be okay with that.

You can be sure the kids WILL test you. In fact, they NEED to. Many are so used to being rejected (by peers, by their teachers, and by the very people they are entitled to unconditional love from) that they will go out of their way to push you away. If you're lucky, they'll just passively reject you. Normally the "tests" are more active in nature though...they will say all kinds of rude things to you to see how you react. They'll reject your well-meaning attempts to connect. They may be fairly disrespectful at times. All of this is usually an effort to see if you will behave like everyone else in their life. If this sort of thing really bothers you, you might want to find another line of work.

There's a lot of things in life that I'm not good at, but fortunately, I'm pretty good at connecting with kids-even the tough ones. I also know from experience that you can't take ANYTHING teens say and do personally. This is just as true for teens with EBDs as it is for the garden variety adolescent. Some days will be better than others. Some days you get tigers, other days, teddy bears. There's no telling which one it will be. You have to be flexible, and accept that these guys don't do consistency (but need you do). You really have to be able to see the kid underneath the erratic behavior, defiant posturing, and occasional emotional meltdown. Being able to "stay with" someone who is basically not in control of themselves is a useful skill. Knowing when to push and when to stand back is a fine line is another. Being the kind of person who can see the good in anyone will get you far. Having faith that they will "come around" will keep you in the game far longer.

And now that we've hit the half-year point, I'm seeing them "coming around". A lot of the kids I've been working with this year were pretty rough around the edges when we first met. Just like pretty much every other group of resistant types I've ever been involved with, we started the year on a note of suspicion and distrust ("Just who does this crazy woman with a headscarf think she is? She think she gonna just roll on up in here and expect me to do stuff? I'll show her"). Now, for the most part, we've all established some kind of truce and for the most part have cobbled together a positive and productive working relationship. I'm starting to see where it all comes together and the kids either are genuinely happy to see me, or are at least willing to tolerate my presence, willing to work with me, and will accept help.
Pretty cool to think about how far I've come with some of these guys...