Standardized Testing of Kindergartners? Pure evil...

As a person who works with grades 6 and above, kindergarten is a bit of a mystery to me. Aside from outdoor environmental education programs, the only time I ever worked with kinders was entirely by accident, when I found myself rather unexpectedly parked in a dual-immersion kindergarten classroom. The terrifying part of this (aside from the fact that it was kindergarten) was it was so early in the school year that 70% of the Spanish-speaking kids didn't know English yet, the other teacher (also a sub) didn't speak any Spanish, and I don't speak much "escuela" Spanish (what little Spanish I know is "trabajo" Spanish).

I survived, and actually enjoyed sitting on the carpet and in tiny chairs with squirmy kids for one day, in spite of the language barrier. Some things, like crayons, are universal, and gosh darn those little ones are so cute. I will readily admit, though, that I am completely in awe of people who can do this five days a week, 180 days a year. I just don't have that kind of energy and stamina...after that day, I completely passed out on the bus ride home, and probably slept another good hour before attempting to tackle my homework.

With all of that in mind, I was horrified when I first read this bit of news: New York City Begins Standardized Testing of Kindergartners (NY Times, Aug. 27, 2008). How evil is that? I'm not fan of standardized testing, to be sure, as anyone who knows me could easily point out, but even less so when we're talking about instituting this form of torture at such a tender young age. What is wrong with Mayor Bloomberg and his advisors? Are they completely mad? Do they NOT understand the purpose of kindergarten? Are they so out of touch with the realm of childhood? And most importantly, would they advocate doing this to their OWN children? (I bet not!)

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: New York City is crazy, and has one of the most dysfunctional school systems in the whole country, and has for years. But I think that New York City's plan to give standardized tests, some as long as 90 minutes, to kindergartners is sheer lunacy, if not outright sadism. What possible reason could justify doing something this harmful? What exactly would it accomplish? Is this just a thinly-disguised plot to punish students in low-performing schools with even more economic sanctions, like we do with countries like North Korea and Cuba?

More importantly, what 4-5 year old could reasonably expected to sit still for a standardized test? Even high school-age kids have difficulty with this. Heck, even I have a hard time sitting still and taking a standardized test-and if there's anything I'm good at, it's taking a standardized test. What "content knowledge" do we really expect to measure in kindergarten, and why? If this is where the standards movement is going, count me out. Measuring high school achievement in math and reading is one thing, but we are totally abusing the trust our kids place in us to act in their best interest if we seriously expect them to do this in kindergarten.

I remember my earliest years of school fondly, in spite of the fact that I was a shy kid. I absolutely loved going to school even though I wasn't wild about the cafeteria food. I got to ride in a huge yellow bus, do some of my favorite things (art projects, coloring, read stories, singing and music, playing outdoors, physical education, etc). I played with kids and made friends. This was clearly when people still believed in discovery learning. We didn't have homework, but that's a whole 'nother kettle of fish I won't get into right now.

To me, the idea of testing, especially kids of this age, is simply harmful in addition to being misguided. Probably only one kid in a thousand could sit still for a 90-minute test without being tied to the chair. Anyone off the street could tell Bloomberg this obvious fact. You're lucky if you can get 12 year-olds to sit still for 15 minutes, and really lucky if high school students will let you get through a 45 minute lesson without getting antsy. Most adults I know don't even have that kind of attention span, and we've had years of practice.

Whatever happened to kindergarten anyway, and how did it get so divorced from the needs of young children? For some crazy reason, we are doing away with recess in elementary school (insane), and expecting children to sit quietly at their desks for hours. I'm not even a fan of this approach for my high school students.

The idea of testing kindergartners is not only awful, but doesn't seem to have any connection with what we know about how kids learn. Most of us learn new things by watching and doing. Young children do most of their learning through play and exploration. Kids (of any age) don't learn much of anything from taking tests (when was the last time YOU learned something by taking a test on it first?) The idea of testing sound suspiciously like some kind of evil plot to start "tracking" kids at even younger ages than we currently do.

Most healthy children have a natural curiosity about the world that should be nurtured, not squashed. That their love of learning should be annihilated at such a young age saddens me. Do we want children to come to hate school so young? (Trust me, they'll have plenty of time to feel that way later on when they get broadsided by long division and the impenetrable classics.) Why would we put them in situations where they're likely to be "punished" because we've set them up to fail? Why damage their love of learning?

Kids are strangely perceptive, and I've seen far too many kids who experienced way too much so-called "failure" in their early years and internalized it in a very unhealthy way. Some of the people that society at large considers "very successful" began in life as terrible students who did not excel in academics. Most kids though aren't this lucky, though, and they end up having all kinds of difficulties in high school because of their low self-esteem, and dig themselves into really deep holes that are difficult to pull them out of.

I think teachers (and the general public) should refuse to participate in this sick charade. Right now, the testing is still voluntary, thankfully, and schools can opt out. If you are in NYC, don't participate in this harmful hypocrisy! Children deserve better than that.