Violence is a means of communication

Violence is a means of communication, a powerful, but very inefficient means of communication.

I get numerous opportunities to think about this a lot when I'm working with non-verbal kids in special education settings. When a person is unable to express their needs verbally, they often attempt to express them physically. This can be positive or negative. Displays of affection are the positive end of the spectrum, and as a teacher you get a LOT of unsolicited hugs in special education. Violence is the negative variety of non-verbal communication. Often, young or immature children tend to do a lot of hitting. Most of the time they're trying to "say" something but don't know a better way When kids (of any age) can't speak at all, often they're prone to hitting, and this can be very problematic once they reach adolescence because they grow stronger, so what began as a playful slap can become much more serious. Worst of all, though, is that adults who don't know how to express their needs in more appropriate ways often resort to violence. I'm inclined to believe that most "violent" individuals are just individuals with poor verbal communication skills.

One thing I often say (and one of my best strategies for preventing violence in school settings), is that prevention is the best offense in many (although not all) situations. Like most things in life, it's better to catch problems early before they escalate. With at-risk teenagers, (many of the kids I've worked with are conflict-prone and thrive on negativity), this stance is critical. I believe that the ability to intervene before things get out of hand helps prevent violence from escalating to the point where non-violent approaches can no longer work. This is why I rarely have serious problems in the classroom.

One of the most encouraging aspects of non-violent communication is that it both prevents escalation, and teaches strategies for better and more effective communication. After all, there's usually more than one way of getting your message across, but some ways are decidedly more effective than others. An example of course is those fun occasions where you have those unexpected interactions with the police. Much of the time, your communication styles have a great deal to do with how that conflict will be resolved.

But how can you prevent violence within your own circle of influence? One thing that almost all violent incidents began with is one very stressed out individual, who becomes increasingly unable to express or get his or her needs met and can no longer cope. Here's some things to watch out for in community members. If you think of a major incident of violence, you can be almost certain that the perpetrator exhibited at least some of these signs:

-Increased use of alcohol and/or illegal drugs as a coping mechanism
-Unexplained change from usual habits or routines
-Decrease in attention to appearance and hygiene
-Depression and withdrawal
-Explosive outbursts of anger or rage without provocation
-Threatening behavior
-Verbally abusive
-Unstable emotional responses
-Paranoia
-Preoccupation with previous incidents of persecution or violence
-Mood swings
-Over-reaction to changes
-Unsolicited comments about firearms and other dangerous weapons
-Repeated violations of community norms
-Fascination with violent and/or sexually explicit material

If someone in your community is exhibiting many of these signs, it's often a cry for help. Part of the problem is that these individuals are unable to get their needs met in appropriate ways, are punished, ignored, or shunned by those who can help them, and end up doing something that is best described as tragic.

Now to take this to a more global perspective:

Now if you want to take the analogy further, substitute "The United States" (or any other "rogue state" for "these individuals". Interesting, yes? I often wonder how many of our conflicts could be resolved if our spokesmen/women were trained in non-violent communication...