self indulgence is lame

so i'm turning into a raging insomniac...well not exactly.
normally i don't have any trouble whatsoever falling into bed and shutting my eyes, it would be the pain and suffering that has me staying up late when the rest of the household is asleep. (by the way it's really all for the best if you refrain from typing your list of symptoms into google, the resulting answers are confusing and needlessly alarming) but that being said, if i still feel this way tomorrow, then perhaps immediate medical attention will be sought. i do have insurance now, it's very exciting.

this late at night, with no sleep in sight, I'm trying to decide if i want to be elda santiago tomorrow. being elda for a day is a possibility i'm willing to entertain, but only if I feel up for the trek on the max and a long day of conflicting emotions. they're fun bunch of kiddos though, if I fall asleep before 2am, I'll think about it...

last time i tried sleeping out here it was so cold i had to wear a coat and a hat, and was laying fully clothed under three blankets and was still cold. that's one of the reasons why i have to move out of this code violation infested house, but i have mixed feelings just the same.

while i may not have effective heat, i do have a really fabulous garden that i'm gonna have to give up. Anywhere I move to is not likely to come with a quarter acre garden plot. In fact I'd be lucky to have a porch with containers of tomatoes. How will I get through a whole summer without homegrown tomatoes? On the plus side, I might be able to move closer to PSU (because with the buses routes all messed up it takes like 30-40 minutes to get there now when it used to take 15). And I would like to be able to let all my piles of school stuff accumulate all over the place instead of feeling like I need to keep my messes out of sight. I've got a couple of piles going right now and I'm only taking linguistics. Just wait until I start student teaching and have all that shit piling up too. But moving also means I'm gonna have to buy crap like a couch and some appliances that I have just been using for free for about a year and a half. And odds are good that we'll end up in apartments (which I HATE) instead of a house, and knowing my luck I'll end up living next to some loud neighbors or crying babies. And I also have the fun chore of trying to find a decent place that allows pets. There aren't a lot of those out there. I don't know...I'm not wild about moving. But I can't imagine another winter without heat. And I'm really starting to feel like I need more space. Honestly I'd love to buy a house, but yeah right, the average price for a shack around here is over $250,000. I think even my PARENTS would find that hard to manage...I"m under the impression that this sort of thing was much easier in their day. In mine it's not, unless you live in Memphis. $250,000 there would get you a palace...

So while I'm not sleeping, I'll be thinking about how much finding a place to live sucks. If it were up to me, I'd start a collective house of English Teachers and we'd all buy shares in a funky house in NE and have tons of cats and fruit trees. It would be like the beethoven shack...Sigh...

Alright, let's try that sleep thing. It's waaaay past my bedtime.