The Week of Looking Inward, Day 1

Where have I learned and lived in 2012? In my head, in my body, or both? I suspect that in my case, it depends on which half of the year you’re talking about. During the first half of 2012, I was teaching full-time. But becoming pregnant during the second half of 2012 definitely shifted the body/mind balance over to the other side. There’s no ignoring the body when you’re pregnant. It makes extraordinary demands that refuse to be ignored. The body during pregnancy seems to have a “mind” of its own.

You really think you’re going to eat THAT? Ha!

I’ve got a better idea, let’s eat way more of THIS.

You will definitely NOT be doing that today.

Let’s go pee AGAIN!

You want to sleep? No kidding! Seems like as good a time as any to be awake…

If I somehow manage to ignore these messages, there’s always those intermittent episodes of kicking to bring me fully back into the present moment.

There’s no escaping into the head most of the time. And by the time 2013 rolls around, I’ll be very lucky if my “head” is still functioning in any meaningful way. Pregnancy is a full-body experience, and with the upcoming “sleep deprivation experiment” (otherwise known as infancy) pending, my head will mostly be a yawn-exiting apparatus.

My challenge for 2013 is going to be finding a way to create some sort of mind/body balance out of the ensuing chaos of living in the same house with an infant AND a toddler. Nothing like piles of dirty diapers, or the jarring wail of an unhappy child to pull you back down to earth and the all-important present moment.