sensitive!

I'm feeling way more sensitive these days...and it must be the hormone stew. It's bizarre, since I was never particularly emotional during pregnancy, but ever since the baby arrived, I've been way more sensitive to everything. I guess it's normal to feel this way since a lot of people tell me they've gone through this stage too, but it sure is weird.

I get flooded with anxiety or sadness when I think about tragedies or catastrophes. For instance, I used to be an avid horror film watcher when I was a teenager, but now, not so much. I don't read the paper as much because it stresses me out. I cannot watch the news because I can't stand hearing about all the bad things that happen (especially to kids). As a teacher, I've never been real big on people hurting children, but now there's a visceral response to go with the general moral outrage.

I feel a lot more sensitive than I was before I birthed my son. I used to be fairly detached, but now it's like I've become aware that everyone who is in pain or is hurting is someone's CHILD. My emotions are so much larger and more intense since having my son. This is wonderful, when it comes to the love I feel for him. This is a degree of love like nothing I have ever felt before. In turn, it has softened my heart to experience other emotions as well. It changes you. It's not that I was totally unfeeling prior to becoming a mom, but there was a certain level of detachment that I had developed. Now, I get this awful visceral reaction when I hear about some of the uglier things that humanity is capable of. Currently, it feels like I'm wearing my emotions on my sleeve, they bubble up all the time during inconvenient times and places.

Once you have a child, you suddenly have this weird connection to anyone who has ever experienced pregnancy, birth, and the intense relationship with a child that follows all of that. Maybe it's an evolutionary mechanism that keeps us looking out for other babies in the tribe. I don't know. What I do know, is that in some ways, it can be strange, but mostly it's kind of wondrous.