Things I never knew would happen

While I am by no means any kind of expert on pregnancy, I had watched enough people go through it that I figured I'd kind of know what to expect. But life is full of surprises, and there are so many things that nobody tells you about, probably because pregnancy, like many other things in life, is an individual experience. Here's the things that I personally didn't see coming:

1. That there would be times when I would feel great. A lot of people mention how much they dislike being pregnant, and I do have my moments, but sometimes I actually feel pretty good...or at least pretty normal. Granted that's due in large part to the fact that I don't look like Santa Claus carrying a watermelon strapped around my belly yet.

2. That pregnancy would totally ruin the cooking and eating experience. Forget food cravings! I've never been less inclined to eat in my whole life. I am one of those types who generally enjoys cooking elaborate meals from scratch--but not anymore! Everything about cooking and eating totally currently grosses me out.

3. That I won't necessarily get all "emo". Thank God! I'm not an emotional person regularly, and I certainly haven't become more "weepy" or emotional as a result of being pregnant...just a bit crabbier. I don't feel depressed or euphoric, or anything like that--just a bit crankier than usual. It's kind of a relief, really. I was afraid I'd turn into a basket case, and didn't want to do that while teaching!

4. I didn't know how utterly TIRED I'd be. I've never been this tired in my life. I've never needed naps as much as I do right now. Only one person ever hinted at how extreme the fatigue would be in the beginning (thanks M!). Even if I'm not downright sleepy, it generally means that I'm totally unmotivated to do anything and am basically just going through the motions of dragging myself through the day in a state of mindless exhaustion.

5. That I would have insomnia. Maybe it's related to #4, or even #1 (fun with the digestive system). At the beginning, I could not sleep at all (which made it very hard to get up at 5am for callout, so I missed a lot of work at first). Sometimes I still can't sleep, although these days I can often blame it on the antics of my digestive tract.

6. That when I did get enough sleep, I would have almost constant nightmares. I have a horrifically bad dream almost every night. (Usually I just sleep and don't remember my dreams, so this is unusual for me).

7. That I would become a much slower, clumsier, more forgetful version of myself.
I dread working at schools like Jefferson where there's lots of stairs because I can barely climb them now. It takes forever, and I'm all out of breath for several minutes. When I go somewhere with my husband, I'm the one 20 feet back, struggling to keep up. And forget running after some kid that's decided to cut loose at school...if I end up with a "runner" in the classroom, they're just going to have to get someone else to bring that kid back.

I'm already completely lacking in any form of short-term memory, so losing what little bit I had going for me is a bit of a nightmare. It's a good thing I don't have any other kids because I would probably leave them places. You would not believe how many times I try to leave the house and have to go back to get some totally critical thing that I've forgotten. It's like executive dysfunction X 100.

Coupled with all of the above, I'm having a really hard time concentrating, kind of like having a reduced attention span. I feel like a total space cadet sometimes, and have a hard time reading books, watching movies, or anything that requires extended attention spans. I forget what I'm doing half the time, or can't remember what I was planning on doing next. Needless to say, I'm feeling a lot more empathetic towards people with ADD/ADHD. Oddly enough, at school it's easier to function because a lot of what happens at school is predictable and routine, so I can "fake it" a lot easier. My ability to multitask is shot, but if I make lists, and refer back to them often, I can usually cope.

Heh heh, this is just the first trimester. I'm sure I'm in for way more surprises later.